Miscellany from Metroland

Girls' Day Out

2010-11-05T21:02:00.003-04:00

A few weeks ago, Mummy and I went together into DC to do a little sightseeing. V. was busy, so it was just us girls. I made reservations to go up inside the Washington Monument (it's free, but you have to book tickets ahead of time these days). We rode the Metro into the city for our day of sightseeing.

First up was the Washington Monument (Mummy waiting for our turn to tour):

where we got an amazing view of the city in four directions, and saw some of the inspiring words of the father of our country (if only we would heed them now!):

Then we walked down the National Mall to the Lincoln Memorial, taking one last look back at the Washington Monument and its reflection in the Reflecting Pool:

Having fun together! This is just after we had taken a rest with some Parle-G biscuits that I ended up feeding most of mine to the ducks in the Reflecting Pool, heh.

Here's Mummy in the Lincoln Memorial:

and me:

I have sindoor in my hair because the day before was Das Lakshan and we had been to the mandir near our house.

Mummy's knee was starting to hurt after so much walking, so we had to call it a day and catch the Metro back home. Still, it was a beautiful day and we had a great time together chatting and enjoying the sights of Washington DC.

Sorry!

2010-10-24T16:09:00.002-04:00

Yikes, I really dropped off the face of the earth there for a while. I've just had a really hard time bringing myself to blog for a while, for a variety of reasons: the stress of living in Northern Virginia (yeah, I know, cry me a river). I've changed jobs twice--once I switched jobs for more money/more responsibility. Then I switched again because I was laid off (and I'm very happy with my job now, thank goodness, and hopefully they are also happy with me!). We had a dreadful, snowy winter this past year and I had the most severe seasonal depression of my life. I've also been pondering how to write because my husband's idea of internet privacy and mine are a bit different. I've been trying to figure out how to approach the blog with that in mind, because I want to be respectful of his privacy while still being able to express myself. And we've been busy for the last month and a half because my MIL arrived in mid-September.

She'll be staying until February this time, and we're also starting her green card application this month (before USCIS raises the fees). I have to say, having a house with more space has been really nice for all of us. She's got a nice bedroom and her own private bathroom downstairs, so we don't disturb each other (she wakes up later than I do in the mornings, and we tend to stay up later than she does). Mummy spends her days learning to type and use the internet, studying English, taking walks, going and chatting with the owner of the Indian grocery store around the corner from our house, etc. And of course she's teaching me some new recipes, such as sooji ki idlis, etc. We've had some "girls' days out" to DC for sightseeing together, shopping, etc. and so far it's been just a lovely visit. I've been taking pictures and I'll post them in the next couple days. I promise! Pukka!

Dah-ling I Love You, Give Me Park Avenue

2009-12-04T19:50:00.002-05:00

This Thanksgiving weekend, we went to New York City for three days. I've never been there before, but V has been and loved it. Now that we live only 4 hours away, there's no excuse for us not to go there and enjoy the things that the city has to offer!

The trip was pretty last-minute, so we didn't get tickets to any shows or anything. We had dinner in Little Italy one night, and at Bar Boulud the next (one of Daniel Boulud's restaurants) where I had a celebrity sighting that only a public radio nerd like me would be thrilled over: we saw Garrison Keillor with his family getting a table at the same restaurant!

We visited the Statue of Liberty:

Ate chestnuts roasted on an open fire (from a street vendor):

Looked at the beautiful Christmas decorations:

And went to Times Square to meet V's cousin-brother (note the Incredible India billboards you can just barely see in the background):

We also bought some Christmas gifts from interesting vendors in Chinatown; I got an expensive lipstick at Saks Fifth Avenue; braved the crowds at Tiffany's; became masters of the NYC subway system; went to the little India area in Jackson Heights for pani puri, paan, and cheap pashmina stoles; and walked around just generally enjoying the city. On Saturday night after dinner we met one of my friends at a very cool little bar near Chinatown where we drank absinthe in a cave-like room lit only by candles.

On the way home we visited V's cousin-sister and her family and had a wonderful lunch and chat with them. From their house in Jersey City, you can see the entire city of New York stretched out in front of you and the Statue of Liberty in the foreground, and as I looked at it I was kicking myself for never having been to NYC before. It was a wonderful weekend and an incredible city, and I can't wait to go back!

Procrastination, That's My Function

2009-12-02T21:29:00.004-05:00

Oh my God, you guys. I'm sure that by now you've seen how bad I am about keeping up with my blog. Now it's December and I haven't even started Christmas shopping yet. That's why this year I was really interested to learn about Snapgifts.com, a website that one of my blogger friends, Cagey, told me about (all right, it was her husband's idea!). You can get giftcards for a ton of different restaurants and shops, all in one place. In that way you can knock out most of your gift-giving list! I'm always looking for the easy way out...especially this year when we've got a lot of other stuff going on and taking up our time.

In other news, we went to NYC for Thanksgiving weekend and had a blast (the high point was my celebrity sighting: Garrison Keillor. Yes, I'm a nerd). I took some pictures (not of Keillor--I did't want to be That Fan, and I've met him a few times before already), but true to form, haven't had time to upload them yet. The Christmas decorations in the city were so incredible, I was able to put aside my usual "Don't jump the gun on Christmas!! It's not even Advent yet!!" objections and just enjoy them. I'll get them up soon!

The Newest Amreekan!

2009-11-23T17:45:00.002-05:00

Last Thursday, V became a US citizen! It all happened so fast. We went to USCIS expecting that he'd just be taking the civics test and we'd have an interview and be given an appointment for the oath in several weeks, but after V passed the test, the interview officer told him to come back that afternoon to swear the citizenship oath.

It was a slow day, and only 10 other people were being sworn in. I had to sit at the back of the room to watch V and the others raise their right hands and swear the oath. The officer played a video of the national anthem, a welcome speech from President Obama, and a video of the song, "Proud to Be An American." That's a song I've never particularly liked (it became connected in my mind with wars I don't agree with), but I was surprised to shed a tear or two as I watched.

I asked V how he feels now that he's an American citizen and not an Indian citizen. He said he doesn't feel any different--and that a passport or a political designation doesn't change who he is. Furthermore, V can get an OCI ("Overseas Citizen of India") card and have the best of both worlds. Sensible, as always!

A New Side of My Husband

2009-11-15T19:42:00.003-05:00

Now that we're homeowners, I'm seeing a completely new side of my husband.

For the past several years, we've just been living in grad student mode in an apartment, spending most of our time watching movies, going out to eat, going shopping (V's obsessions are watches and shirts), going out with friends, etc. I've always thought of my husband as a "metrosexual," cerebral, intellectual kind of guy--not a do-it-yourselfer at all!

Now that we own our own home, my husband still wants to go shopping. But now, we're going shopping at Home Depot. Instead of ties, shirts, and shoes, we're buying tools, supplies, paint, and bags of concrete. Every time I think we've gotten what we need from the hardware store, there's something else that I didn't think of.

And furniture. We've been living for the past 4 3/4 years with used furniture and various random pieces of art and decor that we've collected. Now we're spending hours out of every day trying to find the perfect contemporary-style furniture, at the best possible price, bargaining down to avoid paying shipping, etc. It's been three weeks and we've managed to buy a dining set and an area rug.

Heating and water--forget it. In our rented apartment, we ran the heat and water as much as we wanted. But now that we're paying for it, V. is all about turning the heat completely off at night and when we're gone, no matter how cold it gets (low 60s!! Acckkkk!). I guess I should have expected this, after all the Marwari jokes he makes.

We've been together for almost 5 years now, and it's only since we've bought our own home that I've seen this side of my husband. I might get impatient with the never-ending jaunts to Home Depot, but I'm also enjoying seeing V. in a completely new light!

All that aside, we're both really enjoying settling into our own home. It's a place that we can grow into. We have room for Mummy to have her own space when she comes to stay; we have room for one or two babies to have their own rooms when the time comes; we have room to entertain or to cuddle up just the two of us. I'd have to say that the day we bought our house was one of the happiest days of my life.

Just the Two of Us

2009-10-21T20:07:00.003-04:00

I didn't write about Diwali before now because I had been feeling really sad about it this year. Last year at this time, we were in Delhi, celebrating with my husband's family. I could hardly believe that a whole year has gone by since we were there lighting diyas with Mummy, playing with patake with the kids, eating incredible food and puris at every meal, and visiting the mandir. This year, living in our little temporary apartment and not having many friends in the area yet, and then missing all the local celebrations for one reason or another, felt so depressing.

Then I pulled myself out of the doldrums and decided to make it nice, even if it was just me and V. I went to the Indian grocery near my office and bought a big box of Haldiram's kaju burfi (my husband's favorite sweet), a smaller box of laddoos to share at the office, and three small clay diyas (99 cents each--that's how much we paid for 50 of them in Delhi last year!). We got the ingredients to make pakoras and chai since it was cold and rainy. I thought about getting flowers to use the petals to make a rangoli, but they were too expensive to tear up like that (what--am I becoming a Marwari like my husband?? Hehe...) so we just got a small bouquet and put it in a vase.

Sharing the laddoos at the office with the others in my department was fun and helped to set the mood.

On the day of Diwali, V. and I waited until nightfall, then set things up for a small pooja. We put the burfi, some incense, and the flowers near our little Mahavir Bhagwan, and made a plate with rice grains, red powder, and the three diyas which we filled with oil and lit. We sang a few songs, did aarti, shared some burfi, and then set the diyas in the windows of the apartment before making our pakoras and chai.

The next morning we got up early, dressed up, and went to the mandir where there was a Jain Diwali celebration. We did aarti again and received blessings and prasad before going home again.

V and I both agreed that Diwali was actually really special this year, even though it was just the two of us. The light of the diyas reminded us of our family in India who were celebrating too. Even though we only had three diyas, their light seemed to be a part of the larger celebration back in Delhi, and it felt pretty magical (if I can be so corny).

We both hope that next year at this time, we'll be celebrating with family again! But now we know that being just the two of us is pretty wonderful too.

OMG OMG What Have We Done--Oh Wait, This is Really Cool!

2009-09-29T18:26:00.002-04:00

Yes, "Oh my God, what have we done" was running through my head like a mantra for the first several days after I got up to our temporary apartment in the Washington DC suburbs.

The commute. My new job. The cost of living. Time to buy a new car. Time to buy a house! Holy crap, our lives are suddenly moving at warp speed! I have to admit I was gripped with panic for a good 7-10 days.

But then the good stuff started to become clear: we live within a few short miles of my grandparents and can drop in for a home-cooked meal any time. My uncles and their wives and kids are also just a few miles away. The commute's not really THAT bad (WAMU, the NPR station that I listen to in the car, helps). There is a huge, cheap Indian grocery store right near my work! We found an Indian restaurant nearby that also sells sweets, and makes chai that tastes so much like Mummy's that tears came to my eyes as soon as I tasted it. My job is really fun, and I'm busy all day with very little down time. The other night, we went to see Dil Bole Hadippa in a theater instead of having to wait for DVD!

We also found a house (the mortgage, OMG OMG) and will be moving in right around Diwali time (very auspicious!). V became Dr. Jain a couple of weeks ago, and he can start his new job this week now that his security clearance has come through.

So--although life has changed quite a bit in the last few weeks, we're enjoying the changes. This small-town girl is adjusting to life in a metro, and V is enjoying getting back to a more fast-paced life too. I hope after I can adjust some more to my new schedule, I'll be able to post more regularly--readers, hold me to it (thanks for the push to post today, Ramit).

Busiest! Summer! Ever!

2009-08-21T15:04:00.002-04:00

...and not for fun reasons, either. We've been insanely busy because V is finishing up his PhD, and we've been making Big Life Decisions like where he should take a job, where we should live, etc.

After that Big Life Decision was made, it was time for me to find a job too--probably the toughest thing I've had to do in a long time. I submitted resumes to more than 80 different companies before I finally got any response at all. Finding a job became a job in itself, but I'm pleased to say that I finally got one, a proposal writing job at a high-tech company. I start on the 31st!

So, the last few weeks have been a flurry of packing and planning, all taking place at the same time that V has been writing his dissertation. I'm his live-in editor and document formatter, and now that I've been through the ordeal of helping him with his I'm really glad I stopped at the Master's!

Next Sunday, we move into our temporary apartment in...the Washington, DC suburbs!! Yay! Land of free museums, great cultural events, restaurants, and theaters that actually play Bollywood movies at the same time that they come out in India! Whether we'll have time to enjoy all of that once we're in the job/commute hamsterwheel is another issue altogether.

For now, I'm savoring the last sweet moments of high summer in Appalachia, spending time with friends, reading books from the university library (while I still have access to it), and using up what we've got left in the fridge, pantry, and freezer so we don't have to throw it out or move it. I'll miss living here, but we're both excited about the adventures ahead.

Cooking Class: "Indian Street Food"

2009-07-20T20:11:00.002-04:00

Last week V and I taught another Indian cooking class at the local gourmet store. It's always a treat to teach there because the store has a top-of-the-line Viking kitchen and the people who sign up are always really interested in having a good time and learning about Indian vegetarian food.

We do a theme each time, and this time we had the theme "Indian Street Food." Since it's summer I thought chaat and snack dishes would be fun. The menu included masala peanuts (a favorite bar snack with beers/whiskey from V's undergrad days at Delhi College of Engineering), aloo ki tikki, cilantro chutney, tamarind chutney, pav bhaji (the famous street food of Mumbai) and plain sweet lassi.

Masala Peanuts

1 tbs oil
1 cup finely chopped onion
1-2 minced serrano chiles
1 3/4 cups (3 roma) tomatoes, chopped
1 1/2 cups unsalted roasted peanuts (or salted, just taste before adding any more salt)
2-3 tsp chaat masala
1 tsp red chile powder (or to taste)
salt, to taste
juice of 1/2 lime
1/3 cup chopped cilantro

Heat the oil in a skillet over medium-high heat, then add the onion and chiles. Cook for a few minutes until the onion becomes lightly golden. Add the tomatoes and cook for about 5 minutes or until they become soft. Add the peanuts, and stir until they are heated through. Add chaat masala, chile powder, and salt; stir. Turn off heat and add lime juice and cilantro; taste, and adjust seasoning. Serve warm.

Aloo ki tikki

6 medium Yukon Gold potatoes, cooked and mashed
1/2 cup peas, mashed up
1 ½ tbs ginger-garlic paste
1 green chili, minced
Cilantro, chopped
1-2 tsp red chile powder (to taste)
Kosher salt, to taste

3 – 4 tbsp bread crumbs

3 tbs cornstarch
2 tsp garam masala
Oil for cooking

Garnishes: red chile powder, chopped cilantro, or crushed cashews

Mix the potatoes with the other ingredients (except for the oil). If possible, set aside to cool (tikkis seem to stay more firm if the mixture is chilled).

Pick up some of the potato mixture and make a ball, then flatten it into a round disk, about 3 inches across and ½ inch thick.

In a large nonstick skillet over medium to medium-high heat, add some oil. Put the patties into the skillet and cook them until they are golden-brown on each side. If you like, you can then take a metal spatula (or another thin spatula) and split the patties to cook them on the inside too, so they are thin and crispy (this is optional).

To serve: cooked, un-split tikkis can be eaten on a bun like a burger (this is what you get at McDonald’s in India: it’s called the McTikki Burger). Or, you can serve them street-food style: place some of the split, crispy tikkis on a plate and drizzle with thinned out yogurt, cilantro chutney, and tamarind chutney. Sprinkle with a little bit of crushed cashews, red chile powder to taste, and chopped cilantro if you like.

Dhania chutney (Cilantro Chutney, adapted from Manjula's Kitchen)

1 bunch of cilantro
½ cup mint leaves
2 green chiles, chopped roughly
1 tbs ginger, chopped roughly
1 tsp whole cumin seeds
1 pinch asafetida
1 tsp sugar
3 tbs lemon juice
1 tsp oil (optional)

In a food processor or blender, blend up the chiles, ginger, cumin seeds, asafetida, sugar, lemon juice, and oil.
Add the cilantro (you can use part of the stems too, if they are tender) and the mint leaves. If it is not blending smoothly, add a couple tbs of water.
Taste and adjust seasoning/lemon juice.

Imli ki chutney (tamarind chutney)

5 oz. tamarind paste
5 oz. Jaggery (date palm sugar), or a mix of 2 parts brown sugar and one part molasses
3/4 teaspoon black salt
1/2 teaspoon red chilli powder, or to taste
1 teaspoon cumin powder
1 teaspoon powdered ginger
5 dates or ½ cup raisins, finely chopped
salt to taste
2 cups water

Put all ingredients into a small saucepan and cook over medium-low heat until it is smooth and thickened, about 20 minutes. You can store it in the fridge, covered, for several weeks.

Pav Bhaji

2 tbs oil
1 tbs whole cumin seed
1 large onion or three small onions, chopped
3 green chiles, minced
1 tbs ginger-garlic paste
14 ounces tomato puree
1/2 tsp turmeric
1/2 tsp khatai (mango powder)
1 tsp or to taste red chile powder
2 tsp salt or to taste
1 tbs garam masala
1 tbs pav bhaji masala
3 medium potatoes, cubed and cooked (we do it in the microwave)
2 carrots, finely diced
1/2 head cabbage, diced
1/2 head cauliflower, chopped small
1/2 green bell pepper, diced
2/3 cup peas

To serve:
Soft dinner rolls
garnish: chopped raw onion, chopped cilantro, butter, lime juice, pav bhaji masala

Heat the oil on medium, then add the cumin seeds and onion. Saute until the onion becomes soft and translucent; add the green chile and stir. Add the ginger-garlic paste and stir for another minute or two. Add the spices (turmeric, red chile, salt, garam masala, khatai, pav bhaji masala) and stir for a minute. Add the tomato and stir to blend. Add the cabbage and cauliflower and stir to coat in the tomato mixture. Pour in enough water to barely cover and bring to a simmer. Add the rest of the vegetables (except peas) and more water if needed. Cover the pan and simmer until the vegetables are very soft and the mixture has thickened, 30-45 minutes. When vegetables are soft, remove the pot from the heat and carefully mash them with a potato masher. Add the peas and return to the heat. Add a little more water if you like, and continue to simmer until it is the consistency you like (we like it kind of thick).

Take some soft dinner rolls and cut them in half crosswise. Toast them in a pan with butter. Serve the bhaji in bowls topped with more pav bhaji masala to taste, chopped raw onion, cilantro, a pat of butter, and a squeeze of lime juice. You can use pieces of the bread to pick up the bhaji, or you can make little sandwiches with the bhaji and pav.

Love, Hate, and Poha

2009-06-15T19:49:00.004-04:00

Today Sharell wrote about 5 Indian foods she loves and hates. She mentioned hating Indian breakfasts because it seems strange to her to eat chapatis, curry, or other "dinner" foods at the beginning of the day. So, I suggested poha, which is one of our favorite breakfasts--recipe to follow.

Five Indian foods I love:
1. Paranthas, either made by Mummy or from Parantha Wali Gali in Chandni Chowk.
2. Raj Kachori from Haldiram's: a big crunchy kachori filled with aloo, chickpeas, yogurt, chutneys, pomegranate seeds, and other things. It's a taste explosion and I think I would be willing to pay 50 bucks to have one right now.
3. Gajjar ka halwa, sweet and delicious carrot pudding.
4. Vegetable pakoras (from my husband's hand).
5. Pau bhaji, a wonderful mixed vegetable subjee served with soft buttered rolls.

Five Indian foods I hate (and this is hard, because I don't hate much!)
1. These black chickpeas that my husband loves as a snack.
2. Murmure--I've never liked Rice Krispies very much, and this is just a spicy non-milk version.
3. Kheer: well, I don't really hate it, but I don't like it enough to seek it out either. It's too plain tasting.
4. This sort of lotus thing that tastes like water chestnuts--I'm not sure what it's called. Again, it has a plain taste that is hard to choke down.
5. Anything with too much black salt flavor. A tiny pinch is fine, but if it's the main flavor I can't stand it. Haldiram makes a sort of cornflake snack that tastes overwhelmingly of black salt, bleh.

I'm pretty lucky that since I grew up eating such spicy food, and I already had an adventurous palate, that I've loved almost everything I've tasted in India or that we've made here. My husband jokes that I should have been born there.

Now, for Sharell, my poha recipe/method (I never really measure when I make it, so I hope the proportions are right):

Poha

1 tbs oil
1/3 cup raw peanuts
1 1/2 tsp mustard seeds
About 4 cups of thin (NOT thick) poha (beaten rice flakes)
1 tsp or so of turmeric
1 chopped onion
1-2 minced green chiles
1 tsp red chile powder (or to taste)
salt
lime juice, to taste
chopped cilantro for garnish
sugar, if desired

In a large skillet, heat the oil, then add the peanuts and cook, stirring, until they get toasted.

Meanwhile, in a large bowl, pour the poha and add the turmeric. Pour over enough water to moisten evenly but not make it soggy, mixing it with your hand or with a big spoon to evenly moisten and mix in the turmeric.

Add mustard seeds, then onions to skillet, and stir-fry until the onions become tender and translucent. Add the chopped chiles and stir.

Pour in the moistened poha and continue to stir. Add the salt, red chile, and a few dashes of lime juice. Stir until it's heated through; taste and adjust seasonings. Add cilantro. Serve hot with sugar if you like--I like sugar, but V doesn't.

Happy Loving Day!

2009-06-12T11:04:00.003-04:00

Happy Loving Day, y'all! Time to take a moment and be thankful that the brave Mildred Loving and her husband Richard fought all the way to the Supreme Court to make interracial marriage legal in all states. It's easy to forget that not all that long ago, marriages like hers--or like mine--were actually illegal in many states.

Happy Loving Day!

Happy Mother's Day!

2009-05-10T16:09:00.003-04:00

Happy Mother's Day to my mom, to Mummy, and to all my friends who are lucky enough to be moms! For your enjoyment, here is a picture of Mummy and me with my "babies," Mellors and Criseyde. Ungrateful kitties, they didn't do anything for me for Mother's Day, except demand their breakfast at a very early hour this morning!

Every time we talk to Mummy on the phone, she asks about the kitties. She became fast friends with them when she stayed with us, and misses them a lot now that she is back home in India!

Aloo methi parathas and methi ki chutney

2009-04-20T14:28:00.002-04:00

This is a match made in heaven. Piping hot, crispy parathas stuffed with potato and fenugreek, served with a tangy, sweet, and spicy fenugreek seed chutney. Mummy made this for us several times while she was here, and I finally got her to teach me to make them and let me measure the ingredients as we went along.

Aloo Methi Parathas

3 large potatoes, cut into 1/2 inch pieces and microwaved in a covered dish or boiled until well cooked.
3 serrano chiles, minced fine
1/2 cup dried methi (fenugreek) leaves
2 tsp red chile powder
3 tsp salt
1 tsp garam masala
3 cups atta

Mash up the potatoes with the chiles, methi, and spices until well combined and very smooth. If the mixture is not smooth, it will cause the paranthas to tear.

Place 3 cups atta in a large bowl. Make a dough of the atta with at least 1 1/2 cups water (more or less) to make a springy dough that is not too dry or wet. Put a little extra atta to one side in the bowl.

Pinch off large walnut-sized pieces of dough and roll into a round ball in your hands. Drop it into the dry atta to cover all sides, then place on a smooth surface for rolling (such as a marble chakla or a clean countertop) and flatten a bit. Roll it out to a 4-inch round. Take a heaping tablespoon of potato mixture and place it in the middle of the round, then bring the sides up around it and pinch together to make a ball. Smooth it out a little by rolling gently between your hands. Drop it into the dry atta again, then flatten a bit on the rolling surface and roll it out into a 7-inch round, picking it up and turning it or flipping it as you go so that it doesn't become stuck to the surface. If it starts to get sticky in between you can pick it up and put it into the dry atta again.

Place the parantha in a small skillet over medium-high heat. Cook it on one side and flip when it starts to get golden-brown, 1 minute or so. Brush it with a little ghee or oil as the other side cooks. Flip it again to cook the other side, and brush with ghee or oil again. You can press it a bit with a spatula as it cooks. It is ready when it's golden brown and crispy on both sides. Serve hot with methi chutney, or with curries or other dishes. They taste the best as soon as they have been cooked, but if you want you can cook a pile of them and keep them warm on a plate in the oven (they won't stay as crispy this way).

Methi ki chutney

1/2 cup methi (fenugreek) seeds
2/3 cup golden raisins
10 small dried red chiles
1 1/2 tsp salt
6 tsp khatai
1 1/2 tsp garam masala
2 tsp red chile powder
1/2 tsp turmeric
2 tsp ground coriander
1 cup sugar

Put seeds in a small pressure cooker or saucepan, and cover with water. Heat over high heat until the cooker steams, then turn to medium for about 5 minutes. Turn to low for 5 minutes or so. Release steam and open pot. Drain and rinse the seeds at least 4 times to get rid of the bitterness. The seeds should be starting to become soft. Return the seeds to the cooker and cover with more water. Add the spices and the sugar, and replace the top on the cooker and heat over high heat until it steams, then turning down to medium for a few minutes, then low for a couple minutes. Release steam and open the pot. Taste the chutney and adjust seasoning/sugar if necessary. Simmer uncovered over medium-low heat until the chutney is the desired consistency--usually a bit thick and syrupy, but not dry.

I'm ba-ack!

2009-04-20T14:18:00.001-04:00

I haven't been gone, just haven't had time to write. The main thing that has happened since last I wrote is that Mummy went back to India at the end of March. That was really hard--she became part of our household, and made our house more of a home by her presence. We both miss her a lot now that she's back in India. A couple more posts to come today, if I have time...

Answering Questions

2009-02-19T09:45:00.005-05:00

I've had the flu for the past several days, so the blog post about stuffed shimla mirch that I have been planning has fallen by the wayside. However, answering questions about my relationship doesn't take as much energy, so that's what I'm doing today. I got the idea from Gorigirl. If you like the idea and do it yourself on your own blog, link back here. Otherwise you could do it in the comments here.

What are your middle names?
V doesn't have a middle name, since oftentimes middle names aren't given to Indian kids. I don't know why, it seems a little sad! Plus, it seems like with a first name and a middle name, each parent would get some input on naming their babies. I know that we plan to give our own kids a Hindi first name and a western middle name.

I don't want to tell my own middle name here. Although it's a perfectly beautiful name in English, and was the name of my mom’s favorite teacher from the sixth grade, it has a particularly unfortunate meaning in Hindi. It’s so bad that my husband and I don’t want to reveal it to anyone else in his family.

How long have you been together?
Since January 2005. Time flies when you’re having fun!

How long did you know each other before you started dating?
A few days. We met one night, talked on the phone a little bit, and then went out on a date.

Who asked whom out?
V asked me out.

How old are each of you?
We’re in our late 20s. Our birthdays are only three days apart, so we always celebrate our birthdays together.

Whose siblings do you see the most?
We see my sister the most, since she lives nearby and V’s sisters unfortunately live on the other side of the world from us. We talk to his sisters on the phone every few days though.

Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
Money issues, but those are improving as my career becomes more established and V finishes grad school.

Did you go to the same school?
We both went to Virginia Tech for grad school: me for my master’s in English, V for his PhD in chemical engineering.

Are you from the same home town?
As Gorigirl said in her post, “Hahahahahahaha! No.” I think V is probably from the most complete and utter opposite place possible (New Delhi) from the tiny little Southwest Virginia redneck/hippie town where I grew up.

Who is smarter?
I don’t know if that’s a fair question. When it comes to language, literature, or history, then I would be. But in math, science, or logic, V is smarter. He’s also much better with money and practical things than I am. Edited to add: Oh, who the hell am I kidding: he's a CHEMICAL ENGINEER. Gaaah!

Who is the most sensitive?
I am. I cry at the drop of a hat and always have.

Where do you eat out most as a couple?
El Rodeo, the local Mexican restaurant. I’ve trained V to say in Spanish “quiero salsa mas picante” because the salsa they usually give tastes like plain tomatoes to our palates (used as we are to incredibly spicy food), and the busboys who bring the chips and salsa usually don’t speak English.

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
India—Delhi, Jaipur, Agra, McLeodganj.

Who has the worst temper?
V has the worst temper, but I like it that with him you know where you stand. No passive-aggressiveness, which I hate.

Who does the cooking?
We both do the cooking, 50/50 Indian and western. I make breakfast every day. Cooking is one of our hobbies together, and we have taught Indian cooking classes at the local gourmet store several times.

Who is the neat-freak?
I’m more of a neat freak, but without much extra time or energy after working all week to actually follow through on my neat-freakiness. I keep the house to an acceptable standard of cleanliness but I dream of the day I can hire someone to come in and help once every week or two.

Who is more stubborn?
V is more stubborn, but we’re both true Tauruses.

Who hogs the bed?
The cats hog the bed. I cuddle up to be close to poor V, who gets gradually pushed closer and closer to the edge of the bed as the night goes on.

Who wakes up earlier?
I wake up earlier, because I like to go jogging or do yoga in the mornings before getting ready for work. Then I make coffee and breakfast for both of us. I have a feeling these halcyon days of leisurely mornings won’t last much longer after V gets his PhD and a regular job.

Where was your first date?
We met with friends to go dancing at a now-closed nightclub. But I think our first “date” date as a couple was to go see the Audubon Quartet perform at Tech, and then for coffee at Starbucks.

Who is more jealous?
Neither of us has any reason to be jealous.

How long did it take to get serious?
We got serious within several weeks. “Dating” just isn’t done so much in Indian culture, and once V knew that he wanted to be serious with me that’s what he did. He’s a very decisive man.

Who eats more?
V eats more. I think it would be pretty weird if I ate more than him! He prefers rotis instead of rice with dinner and can eat three times as many as I can.

Who does the laundry?
I do the laundry. Chores for us tend to fall (except for cooking and shopping, which we do together) along traditional gender lines. That’s all right with me, since with my master’s in English and his PhD in chemical engineering, we’ll never split our salaries evenly either.

Who’s better with the computer?
V is better with the computer. I know enough to do my job at work and to do email or web surfing in my free time.

Who drives when you are together?
V usually drives, although in snow or ice I feel more comfortable driving. I learned to drive in snowy or icy conditions in my teens, so I know how to avoid skids or getting stuck without having to think about it or get nervous.

The Visa Odyssey

2009-01-27T16:49:00.004-05:00

Before we went to India, I mentioned our issues with getting my MIL a visa interview appointment (getting one seemed like finding hens’ teeth!). Obviously, since she came back with us, everything worked out—but I thought I’d describe our experience since it may be of some use to someone. For myself, it was a fascinating experience, being put through the wringer of US government bureaucracy and seeing things from both sides: the American and the Indian perspective.

First of all, it’s not that easy to simply apply to sponsor a family member’s visitor visa. We spent many months preparing as thoroughly as we possibly could because we didn’t want anything to go wrong and for the application fee to be wasted. The absolute best resource for us as we prepared was a website called ImmiHelp. There are information pages, lists of what you might need, and forums where you can ask questions.

The scariest thing ahead of time was that everything that we read and heard indicated that it is next to impossible for a widow who owns very little property, has no job, and whose children are all married (and only son is in the US). That’s because the government considers that she would be more likely to come here and not go back at the end of her allowed stay.

We had to save up enough money in the bank to prove that we could support her; get letters from our employers proving that we actually have jobs; copies of tax returns for the past couple years; write invitation letters to her and letters to the consulate explaining the reason for her visit and why she would go back to India after her trip; get an invitation letter from the university for V’s PhD graduation; copies of our passports, birth certificates, etc. Mummy had to get proof of all her property and basically everything she owns; photos of her with her kids and grandkids in India (to prove that she has a reason to go back); and her own passport and other documents. All the materials we gathered together filled one big folder. We organized everything with tabs so that in the interview, Mummy would be able to turn to the correct item when the interview officer asked for it without making them impatient.

The process for getting a visa interview requires that you fill out a form at the embassy’s website and get an interview time online. Since we have faster and more available internet here, we took turns at all times of the day and night—for literally months—to get an interview time. Only a few interview slots are released at a time, and they go within seconds because there are so many other people who are trying to get appointments. It was even harder because we wanted a Hindi interview, not an English one, and those are in very high demand.

Finally it was coming close to the time when we were going to be going to India ourselves. We planned to bring Mummy back with us on our way back so that she wouldn’t have to fly alone to the US on her first trip here. We got more and more frantic about getting a Hindi interview, and finally I threw up my hands and started looking for English interviews instead. Mummy had been taking English tutoring anyway, so we just crossed our fingers and hoped that she’d be able to speak and understand it well enough to get through the interview. I was starting to lose hope of getting even an English interview when one day there was one available! My heart almost pounded out of my chest, I was so excited.

With Mummy’s interview appointment papers in hand, we were off to India! For many days before her appointment, we quizzed her with all the possible questions the interview officer might ask. We did drills in finding certain documents fast enough when we asked for them. We coached her to smile, be confident, and make sure to give our cover letter, the graduation invitation, and the email of support from our congressman’s office first thing before anything else. Still, we were very nervous about her chances of getting the visa.

The morning of the interview we all got up early and had breakfast and called a driver to take us to the embassy. Mummy dressed very carefully in a beautiful ecru sari with floral embroidery and her best pearl jewelry. We planned to take her to the gate and sit and wait for her until she was done. My husband told me to bring my US passport, just in case, so I did.

That was the best piece of luck of the whole day, I think. As Mummy was waiting in the very long line just to get inside the embassy, I decided to see if I’d be allowed to use the embassy ladies’ room. With my US passport, I was able to go right on in with no waiting and then come back out afterward. This was encouraging—we didn’t know that it would be that easy for me to go in too. So we asked at the window and it turned out that since I am a US citizen, I was allowed to accompany Mummy in to the embassy. Very sternly, the attendant at the window said, “yes, but you can’t go into her interview!” Well, then, that’s better than nothing, I thought.

So into the embassy Mummy and I went. It was extremely busy and crowded with very long lines. I decided that it would be better and less tiring for her if she could sit down while I stood in line for her. So first I stood in the line for fingerprinting for about an hour, calling her over when it was her turn. As we waited, I decided to ask if any Hindi translators were available—but no such luck. I kept giving Mummy little pep talks and trying to keep her from getting too nervous. Of course as the only white person standing in line, I attracted a certain amount of attention, but I’m pretty used to that by now so I made myself comfortable for the long wait.

Next we had to go stand in the incredibly long line to wait to be called to the interview window. This part was pretty fun for me: first of all, I was able to watch people as they went up for their interviews, and listen in to see how things went. There were only two windows open out of the 14 or so that were actually there. It looked like most people were getting their visas, which made me feel a little better. Another thing that was fun about the wait was the atmosphere: everyone was a bit nervous, but with a jolly sort of camaraderie too. Sort of like, “here we all are in this horribly long line, but we’ll make the best of it together and chat with each other and make it fun.” I met a few friendly people in line, some of whom had more experience with these interviews, and so I was able to talk about our situation with them and get their tips or advice. We also watched the people who went to the interview window and speculated about what they were doing right or wrong, or whether they’d get their visas or not. For entertainment, there was also a large screen TV next to the line showing the India-Australia cricket test match that was going on at that time. I probably saw the Saif Ali Khan / Shah Rukh Khan “I miss you so much it hurts” cell phone commercial 20 times (I love that commercial though, dork that I am). Every once in a while, Mummy would get up from her seat and see how things were coming along, and I’d tell her to go and rest because the wait would still be more than an hour.

Another interview window opened up during this time. It was window number 13. My line mates and I saw that the woman giving interviews at that window wasn’t as friendly, and seemed to be rejecting more people than at the other windows. As I got closer to the front, I prayed that I would not have to go to window 13. There were two other interview officers, and we saw that they could speak Hindi pretty well, so that was an encouraging thing to see in case Mummy got too nervous. One guy in line with me told me that I should just go up to the window with Mummy, even though I’d been told that I couldn’t do that, just to see what would happen. “What’s the worst they can do, tell you no?” So I decided to do that when it was our turn. We got to the front, and my line mates and I wished each other good luck. The best thing was that window 13 closed before it was our turn—whew, unlucky 13 was not our number!

Our turn came. I walked confidently up to the window with Mummy, where a girl about my age was to conduct the interview. She smiled at me and asked “are you here to translate, or are you just here for moral support?” My heart raced—I’d be allowed to stay during the interview!! I told her that I was just there for moral support, and showed her my passport and told her how I was related to Mummy. Then we got down to business.

Mummy slid her application form and passport through the slot in the window, and then she showed the officer the cover letter we’d written, the graduation invitation, and our congressman’s email of support. The first thing the officer said when she saw the invitation was “oh, Virginia Tech—Go Hokies!!” The last thing I expected to find all the way around the world was another Hokie!! But it turned out that she had actually been born and raised in a county not far from Virginia Tech and also not far from where I was born and raised. What luck—it was an immediate rapport-builder.

Then she got down to asking the questions to Mummy. At first I tried to just stay quiet and give moral support, but Mummy was starting to get flustered. She accidentally answered the question about “do you have any other kids” by saying “no” when in fact she has three other kids. I decided to jump in and help. I reminded Mummy of the answers when she was flustered, and then I started to answer some of the questions myself when it seemed like that would make things easier. The interview officer started to ask me questions too, such as where I work, what I do, what my husband does, etc.

The questions she asked (that I can remember) were:

1. Where will you be staying in the US?
2. How long do you plan to stay there?
3. How will you pay for your trip?
4. How many other children do you have besides your son?
5. Where do they live?
6. What do they do?
7. What is your marital status?
8. How long has it been since your husband died?
9. What does your son do? Does he work anywhere else besides being a student?
10. What does your daughter in law do?

Once or twice the interview officer left the window with the documents and then came back. On the last time she did this, she came back and said, “Congratulations, your passport with the visa will be delivered to your home address.” Just like that! We got our papers back, and I started to jump up and down and squeal and hug Mummy! Everyone else in the waiting area probably thought I was pagal (nuts). We were so happy! We went outside in a daze, and I ran down the sidewalk to my husband and didi, whooping that we did it! We did it! I was so happy that I gave all the change and smaller bills in my purse to some small children on the sidewalk.

When the visa came, it was for a 10-year multiple entry visa. How thrilling! It’s definitely true that much of our success was pure luck, but we were also so well-prepared that it made things much easier. It’s been so nice having Mummy here for a long visit, and it’s great to know that she’ll also be able to come back any time she wants in the next 10 years.

A Delhi Must-Eat

2009-01-15T14:00:00.003-05:00

I've been to India twice now, and one must-visit place tops my list of must-eat foods while in India: Paranthawali Gali, in Chandni Chowk, for hot and fresh paranthas! Chandni Chowk is the bustling and crowded old part of the city, with winding maze-like lanes and galis. The shopping can't be missed--my favorite are the jewelry and sari shops.

On this past trip, we went to Chandni Chowk on a mission to find a piece of jewelry for me and a sari for Mummy. Then we went for dinner to Paranthawali Gali to a famous parantha stall where you can get one of the most incredible meals for only about .50 USD!

Here is the menu:

My former Hindi teacher, Raag, will be so proud of me, because I can read the whole thing. Just a few, starting from the top, include paranthas stuffed with aloo (potato), dal (lentil), methi (fenugreek), gobi (cauliflower), mooli (radish), matter (pea), etc. I love the mooli and gobi ones best, but the chilli ones were a pleasant new discovery on this trip. V likes the paneer and the chilli ones best.

When you sit down in the tiny dining area you tell them what kind you want, and then you get a plate of accompaniments (included in the price). You can get fresh lassi brought from a stall in the same gali. Here's what came on the plate:

There's cilantro chutney, aloo subjee, banana chutney, and pumpkin subjee. Meanwhile, out in front of the shop, the hot hot paranthas are made to order. They are stuffed and rolled out:

and then cooked with plenty of ghee:

and then brought piping-hot to your table. Wah! So good, you can't imagine until you go there.

Happy Anniversary to Us!

2009-01-08T13:19:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was the second anniversary of our Indian wedding! Time sure flies when you're having fun. Since Mummy is with us, the first thing we did in the morning was to touch her feet and take her blessings. The day felt extra-special because we had her with us!

To celebrate, we made pakoras and had champagne that night (Mummy even had a tiny glass!). Making pakoras is a cooperative effort for V and me. I prepare the veggies and batter, and he does the frying (I am skittish of hot oil, so he's the designated fryer in our family). It's so fun to hang out in the kitchen together making them that that's what I requested that we do for our anniversary.

Making pakoras is easy! I prefer the kind with individual veggies, rather than chopped veggies in blobs as you see at restaurants. My favorite kinds are mushroom and onion, but you can use your imagination and whatever veggies take your fancy.

Pakoras

2 cups besan
1 cup water
1/2 tsp coriander
1 tsp red chile or to taste
2 tsp salt or to taste
1/4 tsp khatai
1-2 tsp chaat masala
1 minced green chile
vegetables of your choice:
sliced onions
pieces of potato
pieces of green bell pepper
jalapeno chiles, halved lengthwise
small mushrooms, halved if desired
squares of bread
paneer
etc.

Whisk the dry ingredients together and add the chile. Add the water a little at a time and stir to make a batter that is of the right thickness. It should be thick enough to coat the veggies, and not too runny. Put vegetables into the batter and fry over medium heat until golden brown and crispy. Serve with ketchup or spicy ketchup (like Maggi brand).

Bhai and Didis

2008-12-09T11:45:00.002-05:00

My husband has a very close relationship with all three of his sisters. He was the youngest, the pampered only son (I like to say that he was the "little raja") and his sisters still compete to show him affection. As his wife, I've been warmly welcomed into the brother-sister relationship and the celebration of the brother-sister holiday Bhai Dooj (just after Diwali) is one demonstration of that.

Bhai Dooj is celebrated in North India by brothers and sisters. Brothers give their sisters a gift (usually cash) and sisters perform aarti to their brothers and give them a gift of food or sweets. This demonstrates the bond of love between the siblings both now and into the future.

This was the first Bhai Dooj they've spent together in years, and the first since we got married. This time I was included in the ceremony too. Each sister performed aarti, put tilak (red paste) and rice grains on our foreheads, and gave us a gift. It felt really special to experience the ceremony with my husband and all three didis. Afterward, my little niece performed the ceremony with her cousins (honorary brothers).

Here is my youngest SIL putting tilak on my head as part of the ceremony:

If you go out in public on that day, you'll see lots of men and boys walking around with tilak on their foreheads, a symbol of the devotion their sisters have for them!

Twice the Holidays!

2008-12-09T11:21:00.003-05:00

We've been back from India for more than three weeks now but I haven't gotten a chance to write! Jet lag, plus getting back to work and getting caught up, plus having Mummy with us (yes! She came home with us!!) just didn't leave me much spare time.

I realized that we've been celebrating holidays basically non-stop since we went to India. First there was Diwali, then Bhai Dooj (more on that later), then Thanksgiving as soon as we got back, and then Advent started the following Sunday, and Christmas will be here before you know it! That's one of the really cool things about being in an intercultural marriage--we get to celebrate twice the holidays! It's been really fun to introduce Mummy to Advent and Christmas too...we got her her own chocolate Advent calendar (because yes, I haven't given up that childhood tradition myself yet) and we'll be getting a tree this week.

But--back to India. I had such a wonderful time on this trip: it was so much more relaxed than last time (with the wedding planning, etc) and we got to just spend time as a family, shop a lot, eat a lot, and see more of Delhi.

Celebrating Diwali in India was a wonderful experience. It's definitely a family kind of holiday, when each family stays at their own home to celebrate. We decorated Mummy's apartment with marigold and leaf garlands, rangolis, lights, and dozens of clay diyas filled with mustard oil. Here's my hubby with the garlands:

And here's me making a rangoli:

Here's Mummy and me lighting the diyas for Diwali pooja:

After the pooja, we went nearby to my husband's oldest didi's house for dinner and patake ("fireworks"). People are seriously crazy about fireworks at Diwali in India! Fireworks that would be illegal here, or only allowed to be lit by the town fire department where we live, get set off by families all over the neighborhoods. And ours was no exception. It was fun, but since I was wearing a silk lehenga I stayed well back and enjoyed watching my husband revert to childhood as he played with patake.

This firework is called "anar" which means pomegranate:

And here's my husband having the time of his life:

The city of Delhi fills up with smoke from all the fireworks being set off all over the place that night. It's not easy to go to sleep at Diwali time because of the noise, and for many nights afterward you'll hear people setting off their leftover patake! A few times we were riding a rickshaw at night and had to be really careful not to ride too close to where someone was setting them off in the street.

I'll try to write a little more in later posts about what else we did in India.

Off to India!

2008-10-24T10:28:00.003-04:00

Today after work we're driving up to DC on the first leg of our trip to INDIA!! We'll be there for three weeks, mostly in Delhi but with a couple side trips. I'm really looking forward to spending time with our family and celebrating Diwali. We have 1 1/2 suitcases just filled with gifts for everyone. One of my favorite gifts for the kids is Pez dispensers...every kid needs a Pez dispenser at least once in his life!

My MIL got her visa interview appointment for a day while we're there, so if she is granted the visa she'll be coming back with us. That means that I've been cleaning our apartment like a madwoman so that if she does come back with us, our home will be presentable. Our cats, Mellors and Criseyde, are staying with a friend while we're gone, so we won't have to worry about them either.

We've also been using up all the perishable food in the house, and I've been making things that won't be as easily available in India, like pasta. I happen to have a slight pumpkin/squash obsession, so last night I made a butternut squash pasta recipe that was in the NY Times food blog, Bitten. It was seriously delicious and easy too. If I get hold of some pasta in Delhi, I might make this for my in-laws...as far as I can tell, it's Jain friendly (no onions).

Pasta with Butternut Squash

1 pound peeled and seeded butternut squash (start with a whole squash weighing about 1 1/2 pounds)
Salt to taste
2 tablespoons butter or olive oil
Freshly ground black pepper to taste
1 pound cut pasta, like ziti
1/8 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg, or to taste
1 teaspoon sugar, optional
1/2 cup freshly grated Parmesan

1. Cut squash into chunks, and place in food processor. Pulse machine on and off until squash looks grated. (Alternatively, grate or chop the squash by hand.) Set a large pot of salted water to boil for the pasta.

2. Place a large skillet over medium heat, and add the butter or oil. A minute later, add the squash, salt, pepper and about 1/2 cup of water. Cook over medium heat, stirring occasionally. Add water, about 1/4 cup at a time, as the mixture dries out, being careful not to make it soupy. When the squash begins to disintegrate, after about 10 or 15 minutes, begin cooking the pasta. While it cooks, season the squash with the nutmeg, sugar if necessary, and additional salt and pepper if needed.

3. When the pasta is tender, scoop out about 1/2 cup of the cooking liquid, then drain. Toss it in the skillet with the squash, adding the reserved cooking water if the mixture seems dry. Taste, and adjust the salt, pepper or nutmeg as you like; then, toss with the cheese and serve.

Well, that's it for now...I'll try to post from India, or at least when we get back on November 18. Happy Diwali, everyone!

A Summer Recipe for Summer's End

2008-09-18T13:46:00.003-04:00

There is one recipe that my husband and I love to make as soon as the weather starts to get warm, and that we make all the way up until the end of summer: dahi vade. We have taught this recipe in our Vegetarian Indian Cooking classes, served it to all our friends both Indian or American, and everyone just loves it. I promise that even though it seems complicated, it's really pretty easy. Dumplings made of lentils, fried then soaked in water and squeezed out, and served with yogurt, chutneys, and spices. It makes a good appetizer with dinner, or a light dinner by itself. It's cool and refreshing and delicious. In the waning days of summer, it's definitely something I want to have one more time before we move on to warmer/heartier fall dishes!

Dahi Vade

2 cups urad dal, soaked in water overnight
Salt to taste
Red chile powder to taste
1 tbs whole cumin seeds

Oil for frying

To serve:
Plain yogurt, thinned out with some water and stirred until smooth
Black salt to taste
Red chile powder, to taste
Roasted and crushed cumin seeds
Minced green chiles, to taste
Cilantro chutney
Tamarind chutney
Chopped cilantro

Take the soaked dal and grind it up as smooth as you can in a blender or food processor with a little bit of water and some salt, the cumin seeds, and red chile powder. It shouldn’t be too thick or too liquidy.

In a large skillet, drop the paste by tablespoonfuls into hot oil and fry until golden brown. After they are cooked and cooled a couple minutes, place them into a big bowl of cold water. You can let them soak for hours to get really soft, or you can serve them soon after.

When you are ready to serve, remove the vadas from the water and gently squeeze them to remove extra water/oil. Place maybe 5-6 vadas on each plate. Pour some of the liquidy yogurt over them. Then sprinkle the following on top: a pinch of black salt, some red chile to taste, minced green chiles, cilantro chutney, tamarind chutney, burnt cumin seeds, salt, and chopped cilantro.

Kshama Vani

2008-09-17T16:51:00.002-04:00

If you're reading this blog you probably know that my husband and I are in an intercultural marriage, mixing cultures, becoming members of each other's families, and mixing religious faiths (mine Anglican Catholic, his family Jain). And (if you're reading this and I don't know you and you're feeling indignant or offended about our practice of either Anglican Catholicism or Jainism), while neither of us claim to be perfect practitioners of our faiths, we both find many things to admire in both religions.

That is why today (a day late) for the occasion of Kshama Vani, I ask forgiveness if I have ever offended you, either knowingly or unknowingly. I am sorry if I have done those things which I ought not to have done, or left undone those things which I ought to have done.

Responding to Ignorance

2008-09-09T15:18:00.002-04:00

I've been enjoying the summer so much that I haven't been posting much. I've got some recipes and things to post soon though, but first I wanted to post this.

I was reading Cagey's blog today and thinking about how ignorant people can be and how you can just be blindsided by the awful things people can say sometimes. How do you respond to something like that?

I had a similar experience in 2006 and was so angry that I wrote an op-ed for the Roanoke Times, which they published. It was satisfying to get my anger out in that way, although the chances are pretty slim that the jerk who screamed at my husband actually would have read it. I can no longer find the op-ed on the Roanoke Times' website, so here it is:

It's been two days, and I'm still wondering what that guy was thinking.

As the pickup truck sped past us in the Valley View Mall parking lot, a man leaned out and screamed at my husband, "Osama!"

To give you some background, I'm American and my husband is Indian. Not American Indian, but from New Delhi in the subcontinent of India. There are challenges and rewards that come with mixing cultures in our marriage, and I'm happy to say that we make it work. It's an adventure!

At that moment I was livid. I'm a pale-skinned Caucasian and I've never experienced prejudice due to my race or appearance. Before the truck sped out of sight, I yelled back and—well, it wasn't very ladylike. I was shaking with anger.

I expected my husband to be angry too, but he shrugged it off. For one thing, he's not Middle Eastern; he is Indian, and a doctoral student at Tech. He is not Muslim; he is Jain. To my way of thinking, it takes a real bonehead to connect him with a mass murderer like Osama bin Ladin, based apparently on nothing more than his dark Indian complexion.

I haven't stopped thinking about how hateful and hurtful it was for someone to scream at my husband like this. I was humiliated that, in the place where I grew up, some people are so hateful and ignorant. The more I thought about it, the more connections I seemed to see between this sorry incident and our nation's parlous political state.

As I write these words, it seems that we may be about to expand our Iraq adventure into Iran. Ignorant people draw hateful cartoons about Muslims, and the reaction is burning rage. The Trotskyite neo-cons in control of our foreign policy are thirsting for war with another Middle Eastern country. And if people like the guy at the mall are a clue to the state of public discourse in America, the prospects for prudent consideration of the consequences are dim.

In the aftermath of 9-11 and in the run-up to war with Iraq, we witnessed the same kind of ignorant hostility. The actions of a few terrorists—themselves provoked by our meddling in the Israel/Palestine conflict—caused people like our "friend" in the parking lot to display indiscriminating animosity toward certain groups of people: Saudi Arabians, Iraqis, Middle Easterners, Muslims—a hatred that now seems to include all people whose complexion or facial features resemble even remotely those of the terrorists.

Such malice has caused the deaths of thousands upon thousands of innocent people: US soldiers, women, children, and non-combatants in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Whatever politicians' real motives are for a war with Iran, they can only regard the ignorance and anger of people like the guy in the pickup truck as a useful tool as they forge ahead in their utopian quest to remake the middle east.

I'd like to believe that in southwest Virginia in the year 2006, we are not so easily led by politicians who manipulate bigotry. I'd hope that we are not so consumed by a volatile and dangerous mix of ignorance and hatred that we would lash out at people simply because of their appearance.

So I wonder about the guy who screamed at us. Why?

Because, after all, people like him are as likely as anybody else to suffer losses from the war. It might be him—or his brother, or his buddy—who comes home next in a casket. So what could he have been thinking?

I'd like to believe that he would realize that the safety of his own family and community is endangered by our reckless adventures in the middle east, and that he would at least considering saying "no" to another disastrous and illegal war.

But after our encounter in the mall parking lot, I'm not so sure.

Easiest. Dal. Ever.

2008-07-15T14:42:00.002-04:00

Some days V and I get home from work and we're in a creative cooking mood. Other days we're thisclose to calling for pizza, but since we're trying to save money we have to think of tasty things we can make quickly. One of our favorites is nimbu dal (lemon dal). V used to get this from street vendors on his way to school sometimes, irritating his mother who had just tried to feed him a big and filling breakfast only moments before!

All you have to do is cook the dal and then garnish it to taste with a few savory toppings. We like to cook a big pot of it so that we can eat it for dinner and then have leftovers to pack for lunch for the next day. What follows is not an actual recipe, but more of a technique.

Nimbu dal

Put some moong dal into a pot with water, and cook it until the dal is very soft and as thick as you like it. Serve it in bowls with the following things on top to taste:

Minced green chiles
Red chile powder
Black salt (a small pinch usually)
Burnt cumin seeds (just roast cumin seeds in a pan until they are dark brown, then crush them up in a mortar and pestle)
Chopped cilantro and/or cilantro chutney
Salt
A little butter
A couple dashes of lemon juice

Then you can mix it all up and enjoy! I like it by itself, and my husband likes it with parathas or rotis. I don't have a picture, unfortunately, but it looks nice with all the garnishes on top before you mix them in.

The Pasta of Summer 2008!

2008-07-03T19:50:00.006-04:00

People, if you must know one thing about my food habits, it's that pasta is my comfort food. Sometimes nothing but pasta will do...preferably some kind of pasta that has lots of garlic with it. This can be a problem considering that I'm married to an Indian man who was raised Jain--that means that he didn't grow up eating pasta, and in his family's religion many people do not eat garlic, so he does not like the taste of very much garlic. So if we're trying to decide what to make for dinner and I suggest something that has pasta or a lot of garlic in it, I hear, "awwwww, noooooo...no pasta; no garlic." And since I refuse to cook separate meals, that means that I have to be vigilant about chances to eat pasta or lots of garlic when I'm alone.

Tonight was one of those nights. V got home from work and was so tired that he just wanted a small snack and to fall into bed. I was very solicitous about making sure he was comfortable and had what he needed, but in my mind I was thinking, "here's my chance! It's pasta night, baby!" I'm so bad, hee hee. And I knew just what recipe I had in mind.

This was in the June 2008 issue of Gourmet magazine. You can't get any simpler than this: pasta with garlic and olives. I made a few changes to the original recipe and ended up with the following recipe. The original recipe suggests that you serve it at room temperature (for cookouts and picnics and such) but I couldn't wait very long and ate it while it was still fairly warm. It was so excellent, I can definitely see myself making it for potlucks and parties this summer.

Pasta with Garlic and Olives
(Originally Acini di Pepe Pasta with Garlic and Olives, Gourmet June 2008)

1/2 lb small pasta (I used Barilla mini penne)
1 Tbsp olive oil
2 Tbsp unsalted butter
4 garlic cloves, minced (1 1/2 Tbsp)
1/4 tsp hot red-pepper flakes (I used a little more than this)
1/2 cup pitted olives, quartered (I used Trader Joes' Mingling Olives)

Cook pasta in a pot of boiling salted water (3 Tbsp salt for 6 qt water), stirring occasionally, until al dente. Drain well in a sieve. Transfer to a bowl.

Meanwhile, heat oil and butter in a 10-inch heavy skillet over medium-high heat until foam subsides, then sauté garlic with red-pepper flakes until golden, about 2 minutes. Stir in olives. Toss with pasta. Season with salt and pepper.

Bhindi Masala

2008-06-20T22:25:00.003-04:00

Why don't more people here in the US like okra? It's such a tasty vegetable. It has so much personality; it's so sturdy and quirky. Growing up, I only ever tasted it fried (that's how we roll down South, you know), and then later I got into making this Martha Stewart version that was stewed with tomatoes. But now that I eat so much Indian food, the stewed version tastes "dead," as my husband would say. Not enough masala. V loves a version of okra that's covered in spices and besan and then fried, but I like to do bhindi masala because it's healthier.

We were going to be teaching an Indian cooking class tomorrow but it got canceled because there aren't enough people in town during the summer who sign up for classes. The class is going to be rescheduled for the fall, but we'll have to change the menu because I'm trying to teach seasonal recipes with ingredients that can be found locally. That means that we won't be teaching bhindi masala this year. However, I can post the recipe here!

Our local international grocery has locally-grown veggies, and the okra is gorgeous right now. We've made it twice recently. Make sure you buy okra that's firm and unblemished. You can find it at regular grocery stores at exorbitant prices (seriously--I saw it for 4.00 a pound the other day), so I recommend an international grocery. Also, don't use frozen. It gets slimy and it doesn't taste as good.

Bhindi Masala

1 pound fresh okra, washed, dried, stem end cut off, and cut in half lengthwise
2 tbs olive or vegetable oil
1 large onion, very finely diced (about 1 1/4 cups)
1 small green chile, minced (optional)
3/4 - 1 tsp red chile powder, or to taste
1 tsp khatai (dried mango powder)
1 tsp ground coriander
1/2 tsp turmeric
kosher salt, to taste
14 ounces tomato puree, or equivalent amount of finely diced fresh tomato
1 tbs garam masala

In a large skillet over medium-high heat, heat the oil and then add the onions. Cook until the onions are light golden-brown and translucent. Add the green chile and stir for a minute. Add the red chile, khatai, coriander, turmeric, and salt and stir for a minute so the spices can blend with the onion and get toasty.

Lower the heat to medium and pour in the tomato and stir to blend. Cook for a few minutes so that the gravy thickens. You can add a half cup or so of water, then stir and cook a little while longer until it thickens a little again--I think this helps the flavors become more intense.

Stir the okra into the gravy, then put a lid on the skillet and turn the heat to medium-low. Cook, stirring once or twice, until the okra is tender. Add the garam masala and stir to blend, then serve the bhindi hot with chapatis or rice.

Here's to You, Here's to Me, Friends We Shall Always Be

2008-06-12T12:05:00.004-04:00

When I started grad school in 2003, I met the other women who were in my program and they all seemed like interesting, fun, intelligent women with whom I had a lot in common. At first, I was a bit fatalistic about making friends with them though—I had only had two lasting female friendships up until that point, and our English master’s program was only two years long, after which point I figured we’d all be moving away from this little town. “What’s the point?” I asked myself. “It’s not like we’re going to be friends for more than two years anyway.” But I took that leap of faith and made friends with them, and five years later I’m so glad I did.

My grad school girlfriends and I formed a tight-knit group, hanging out at a local bar with the English grad students’ association, eating great food together at each others’ houses, and sitting and gossiping in our offices between meetings with our students or when we stayed late to write papers. Several of us got married during or immediately after grad school, and we held wedding showers (and one at-home wedding) for which I always made a rich chocolate ganache cake. We took day trips to Warm Springs to “take the waters” and stopped for picnics and antiquing along the way. After our graduate program was over, a few of us moved away, but a small core of us remained here. We started an email listserv to keep in touch and continued to hang out as often as we had time to do so.

Now one of us, S., is moving away because her husband is starting law school in another city about 3 hours away. Although we’re still close enough to visit, it feels like the end of an era.

Last week, S., B., and I went to see the Sex and the City movie. I think we couldn’t have picked a better activity for the waning days of S’s time here. I thoroughly enjoyed the movie (despite the negative reviews) because of its depiction of a group of four close-knit friends. Carrie, Samantha, Miranda, and Charlotte stuck with each other through good times and bad. They were fast friends even when the men in their lives were unreliable jerks, but they also were there to celebrate when one of them found love. That’s the true love story of the movie—not their relationships with their boyfriends or husbands—their lasting relationships with each other.

After (admittedly clichéd, but delicious) cosmopolitans at our old watering hole, I bid my friends goodnight with a hug and went to meet my husband nearby. I kept thinking about the movie and my “Grad Gal” friendships, and also about my very dear friend K. who now lives in California. A bit tipsy, I called K and left her a message telling her that I’d seen the movie that night and that I missed her. An hour later, she called me back to say that she’d also seen the movie that night, and that she missed me too! What serendipity.

I can't believe that so many women buy into the misogynist idea that it's not as good to have female friends, that it's somehow cooler to be "one of the guys" and a badge of honor to have more guy friends than women friends. My strong friendships with K, with the Grad Gals, and with my other women friends have been so important to me--they have sustained me. I'm sad that we're all beginning to go our separate ways, but I know that no matter what we'll stay in touch and stay friends for many years to come.

Gajjar ka Halwa

2008-06-03T11:47:00.005-04:00

After my last two baking disasters, I figured I should post something that I know I'm good at cooking: gajjar ka halwa. It's a wonderful carrot pudding that my husband and I both love. We make it fairly regularly, and it was also served at our wedding in India, just swimming in ghee. I don't remember all the food from our wedding, but the gajjar ka halwa stands out in my mind.

You can make this recipe anywhere along the spectrum from low-fat and low-sugar (using skim or low-fat milk and less butter and sugar) to high-fat and high-sugar (whole milk, more butter or ghee, lots of sugar). V. thinks it tastes the best if it has a lot of sugar in it, so consider the 1 cup in the recipe as a jumping-off point.

Gajjar ka Halwa

2 pounds of carrots, peeled and shredded fine in the food processor
2/3 gallon whole milk (or enough to cover the carrots)
1 cup sugar (more if needed, to taste)
6 green cardamom pods
½ cup raisins
¼ cup assorted crushed nuts (cashews, pistachios, almonds)
generous pinch of saffron
3-4 tablespoons butter or ghee

In a large saucepan or large deep skillet, melt the butter over medium-high heat, then add the shredded carrots and stir for a couple minutes. Pour in the milk and bring to a boil. Lower the heat and simmer until the carrots become extremely tender and the milk has been mostly absorbed, at least an hour.

Remove the outside of the cardamom pods and crush the seeds in a mortar and pestle, then add to the halwa. Add the sugar, raisins, nuts, and saffron. You can taste it at this point and see if it needs more sugar or cardamom. Continue to simmer for about 15 minutes so the flavors can blend. Halwa tastes best if it is simmered on very low heat for 3-4 hours, time permitting, but you can serve it as soon as the milk is absorbed and it has a pudding-like consistency. Serve warm or cold—it tastes great either way!

6 Things Meme

2008-06-02T10:08:00.004-04:00

Heh, I like the word "meme." Ok, I got tagged by the blogger Blue for this "6 things" sort of game. I'm new to this so bear with me. The theme is "six unspectactular quirks" about yourself. These are the rules:

-Link the person who tagged you.
-Mention the rules in your blog.
-Tell us about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours.
-Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them.
-Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged.

So...6 unspectacular quirks about myself:

1. I've dyed my hair for years, but now I'm miserably trying to let it get back to its natural color so that it can be healthier. It's very brassy right now.
2. I play the flute in a German oompah band.
3. I'm a huge public radio nerd and do some radio announcing on the side.
4. I like to lick the salt off of peanut shells, dirt be damned.
5. I like beer mixed with tomato juice.
6. I'd rather be really hot than really cold (or cool, actually). As a result, there's constant wrangling over the thermostat when my husband and I are in the car.

I'm tagging Appalbrandy, Raag, Mumbaiwala, Cagey, Gleemonex, and...hmm. I'd rather not tag someone that I don't really know, and I haven't been getting around the blog world that much yet. Can I break that rule? I hope the meme police don't get me, heh!

I'm formulating my next blog post to have a recipe that I've made a million times and I know can't be a failure like the last two. Stay tuned...

Aaaargh!! And gaaaah!!!

2008-06-01T09:09:00.005-04:00

This post was supposed to redeem my baking skills, but alas, it was not to be. I was going to write about how I made this retro cake (Watergate Cake) in my vintage Harvest Gold Bundt pan, and carried it to my grad school friend's party in my 1940s tin cake carrier, blah blah blah.

On the spectrum that has Erma Bombeck on one end and Martha Stewart on the other, I've always considered myself to be more on the Martha Stewart end of things. Well, I'm feeling decidedly Erma Bombeck after last night's fiasco.

One of my grad school friends, B, hosted a yard party at her house last night, and for days I've been talking about how I was going to bring a Watergate Cake (a pistachio cake along the lines of last summer's Watergate Salad). So yesterday afternoon I made the cake and icing and had it in my tin cake carrier. I was super excited to bring it to the party. So when my husband and I pulled up in the driveway, I got out with the cake carrier and almost immediately when I got out of the car--the cake carrier's handle came off and the whole thing went tumbling to the ground. Luckily it fell upside down, so the cake was still edible, although it looked like the mess in the picture with this post.

Well, a glass of wine or five later, no one cared that the cake looked like crap. It still tasted good, at least! There was lots of other excellent food at the party too. We had a really lovely evening lying on the lawn with blankets and pillows. I hope the rest of the summer is as nice as last night and Friday night (picnic at Mountain Lake, where the movie Dirty Dancing was filmed).

Just don't call me Erma.

WATERGATE CAKE
(courtesy of Ann on the cooking email list I'm on)

1 pkg. cake mix, yellow or white
1 pkg. instant pistachio pudding
1 c. oil
3 whole eggs
1 c. Canada Dry Club soda
1 c. pistachios (chopped very fine)

Mix cake mix, pudding, eggs, oil, club soda and nuts together. Blend well and beat 4 minutes. Grease and flour Bundt pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 45-50 minutes. Cool in pan for 20 minutes. Turn out on plate and when cool, frost with icing.

WATERGATE ICING:

1 box instant pistachio pudding
1 1/4 c. cold milk
1 (8 oz.) container Cool Whip

Blend all together and beat until light and fluffy. Spread on cake. Store in refrigerator.

I'm Not a Baker

2008-05-29T22:07:00.002-04:00

So, I've come to the conclusion that I'm not cut out to be a baker.

Most of the time I think I'm a pretty damn good cook. Indian food, French, Mexican, Italian...whatever I make turns out scrum-diddly-umptious. Except.

Aaaargh! When I try to bake, I *always* screw something up. Maybe it's because it's more precise, so I have to follow directions more carefully or something?

I have to admit, I've never been super-great at reading carefully and following directions. That's why I was a terrible test-taker when I was a kid. I remember when I was really little, and standardized test time came around in school, I'd have a massive freakout because I just couldn't figure out what to do, and meanwhile the other kids were finishing up their tests and getting to put their heads down on their desks or go play outside. But all of that could have been avoided if I'd just read the damn directions more carefully.

This leads me up to last night's latest baking disaster. I decided to make these oatmeal cookies that I saw on another blog (I think it was Smitten Kitchen). I had all the ingredients laid out in a perfect mise-en-place. Toss this into the bowl of the Kitchen-Aid mixer, add a little of that, roll the dough into balls, and bake...only to find that the cookies melted completely flat instead of staying nice and puffed up, crispy on the outside and hollow on the inside.

My husband gamely tried them and insisted they were good (bless his heart!) but upon reinspection of the recipe, I realized that instead of using 1 1/2 sticks of butter as the recipe said, I had used 2 sticks. I made basically Butter Cookies, bleargh. I took them to work today and my coworkers seemed to enjoy them, especially our web guy Matt who ate probably like 5 of them. At least they're not here, taunting me with my failure. And it's not as if I can just make them again the right way--it's too expensive to waste ingredients like that and my Marwari husband Would Not Approve.

So, I think from now on I'll either try to be even more careful in reading and following directions, or I'll stick to what I do best, which is recipes that are less precise and can survive mistakes like this. However, I do plan to make one more baking attempt this weekend, this time a retro-style cake which I will write about on Saturday.

Random springtime musings

2008-05-22T12:33:00.003-04:00

Not a day goes by that I don't think about how lucky I am to be living here in the Blue Ridge mountains. I can look out the window next to my cube and see a gorgeous panorama of the mountains and green, green everywhere. This town is such a perfect mix of natural beauty, just the right amount of development, and plenty of educated and ethnically diverse people from the university. I don't want to leave!

Right now we're poised on the cusp of...I don't know what. V. graduates in December and is already starting his job hunt. There's not a whole lot for chemical engineers around here, but there's a little, and the cost of living here is so great. But although we have a chance of staying here, we could end up almost anywhere else...from New York to Ohio to California or Texas; who knows. It scares the crap out of me when I think about it, but hey, I'm just along for the ride right now and doing my best to support my hubby.

We're working on gathering everything together for my MIL's visa application to come visit from India. We've almost got everything together, and then we'll see what happens with her interview. I feel like screaming, "dammit, I'm a US citizen and I've been paying taxes for umpty-gazillion years by now, so give me my mother-in-law, you jerks!" But, uh, I guess that wouldn't work. I'm settling for having Rick Boucher's office fax a letter to the Delhi consulate though. I really want Mummy to get to visit, especially while we're still in this town. Our plan is to bring her here permanently at some point, and I think that she would like it here enough to stay with us for good. I hope, anyway. On beautiful days like today I think, how can Mummy help but to fall in love with the Blue Ridge Mountains?

Penny-pincher, meet gourmet.

2008-05-15T12:14:00.006-04:00

My husband is a proud penny-pincher. He always says, "I am Marwari. I'm not going to let go of my money!" I've learned a lot about saving money from him, but I still have a long way to go I think!

Recently he looked in the pantry and saw that I had squirreled away at least 4 cans of cannellini beans. He doesn't like to feel like we are wasting money on stuff that isn't being used, so I was determined last night to make dinner based around cannellini beans. I looked at several recipes online, including pasta recipes, soup, stews, etc. I saw one recipe for white bean and butternut squash soup that looked good, and I also saw this recipe for white bean bruschetta:

http://users.ez2.net/kona99/WhiteBeanBruschetta.htm

I asked him if he'd rather have bruschetta or soup for dinner, and he chose bruschetta (sometimes it's fun to eat more "appetizer" things for dinner instead of a more classic meal). I kept thinking about the butternut squash in the soup recipe, and remembered that I had a half butternut squash in the fridge that was going to go bad if I didn't use it, so I decided to use the original bruschetta recipe as a jumping-off point. So I basically made a meal that kept two things from going to waste--the beans my husband was concerned about, plus the squash! Bonus! A dinner to please the penny-pincher who's also a gourmet.

The bruschettas with a glass of white wine made a nice, not too heavy dinner. V. liked it a lot and so did I. I'll have to remember this in the fall as an appetizer to bring to a party or something.

White Bean and Butternut Squash Bruschetta

1 1/2 cups butternut squash, cut into 1/2 inch cubes
1/2 cup chicken or vegetable broth, or water
1 can cannellini beans, drained and rinsed
1 clove garlic, mashed
1 tsp minced sage leaves [the original recipe called for rosemary, which I didn't have]
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
1 teaspoon balsamic vinegar [I used 1 tbs]
1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes or to taste
fresh-ground black pepper to taste
Salt
baguette

In a small skillet over medium-high heat, saute the butternut squash in a little oil for a couple minutes, then add a half cup of broth or water and cook until the liquid has simmered away.

Gently toss together beans, squash, garlic, sage, olive oil, vinegar and red pepper flakes in a medium-size bowl, taking care not to break up the beans. Let the mixture stand, covered, for several hours at room temperature or until you are ready to serve.

Meanwhile, slice bread into 1/3 inch thick slices. Brush with olive oil and bake for 10 minutes or until edges begin to brown.

Taste the bean mixture and add salt, pepper, and more red pepper flakes to taste. Spoon the beans onto the slices and serve at room temperature.

Jaipur

2008-05-14T13:34:00.001-04:00

I've been feeling kind of lame recently because I have this blog and I almost never post on it. But today I feel like I should post a little something because of the terrorist bombings in Jaipur.

This picture is a view from the Hawa Mahal, or "air palace" in Jaipur. We visited there just before our wedding. It's a crowded place, full of tourists and shoppers and people going about their everyday lives, doing everyday things like drinking lassi, going to the Hanuman temple on Tuesdays (as they were yesterday), or going from place to place on rickshaws. My sister-in-law, Prachi didi, lives there with her family.

I'm sad and I'm also pissed off that these asshole terrorists did such a despicable and cowardly thing. Muslims and Hindus alike were killed or injured in the blasts. What the hell is the point? There is no point. It's completely senseless. I'm relieved that my family there is safe. I'm also praying for those affected by the blasts and wishing for peace.

The First English Grad Gals Baby Shower!

2008-03-05T16:38:00.000-05:00

It's a little hard to believe, but one of my grad school girlfriends is now the first one of us to have a baby! I feel like my grad school friends and I live in this alternate universe where we are all waiting a really long time to have babies (as opposed to, for example, the girl from my high school reunion who already has four kids). But happily, my friend M. is pregnant and due in April! I was so thrilled about it that I jumped at the chance to host her baby shower at my house.

We didn't have a particular theme, but we all gave favorite baby books to M. (of course, since we were all English literature majors!). We had a really nice time sitting and chatting while sipping champagne (or sparkling grape juice) and eating some delicious snacks, like B's chicken casserole, S's artichoke dip, and MF's spinach pie. I decided to make little tea sandwiches (proper British-style cucumber sandwiches and good Southern pimiento cheese) and cupcakes. I tried the Jamie Oliver recipe for Sticky Toffee Cupcakes with Chocolate Topping and they were a real hit--especially with my husband, who helped polish them off after it was safe for men to come back in the house, heh.

Sticky Toffee Cupcakes with Chocolate Topping
Jamie Oliver, from "Happy Days with the Naked Chef"

2 tbs sultanas or golden raisins
1 oz dried apricots
1 oz dates
1 tsp baking powder
1 cup self-rising flour
2 tbs brown sugar
1 tbs corn syrup
1 large egg
2 tbs melted butter
1/2 cup plus 2 tbs hot water

for the chocolate topping:
3 tbs butter
3 tbs sugar
1 1/2 oz bittersweet chocolate
5 tbs heavy cream

Preheat the oven to 400. In a food processor, chop the sultanas,
apricots, dates, baking powder, and a little of the flour (just enough
to keep the fruit from sticking o the blades). Put this mixture into
a bowl with the brown sugar, the syrup, the egg and the melted butter
and stir together. Then add the very hot water and the remaining
flour and mix well with a whisk. Divide the mixture between 12 foil
cupcake cups (doubled up) and place on a baking tray. Bake in
preheated oven for about 15 minutes.

Meanwhile, melt all the chocolate topping ingredients in the saucepan
and bubble for a while until slightly darkened in color. Remove from
the heat and let the sauce cool until it thickens. Then put a blob on
top of each cupcake.

Indian Wedding Anniversary

2008-01-11T10:41:00.000-05:00

Monday January 7 was our Indian wedding anniversary. One year since we were in India and had our Jain wedding at Pawan chacha's farmhouse. It has been a great year, during which my hubby and I became even closer. I love him very much!

I have been musing about this anniversary for several days, and along with my happiness with V., one thing has been foremost in my mind, and that is Mummy. One year ago January 7, I not only became V's wife, but I became part of his family and his family became mine. This makes me feel very lucky, especially because of my mother-in-law.

Mummy is a very special lady. She's a beautiful, kind, dear woman. I couldn't imagine until I met her that she could love me so much and make me feel like I was her own daughter. I can't believe my good fortune at having such a wonderful and loving mother-in-law. It makes me want to take care of her and protect her and make her happy for the rest of her days. I am looking forward to her coming to stay with us here in the US!

The picture I'm including is from our wedding. It's not an especially flattering picture of me, but the moment at which it was taken was very special. The photographer was having all the family members come and have pictures taken with us, and in this picture Mausiji, her son, and Mummy were in the picture with us. Mummy sat down next to me and put her arm around me, and I felt such a wave of love and happiness that I began to cry. Everyone around us thought I was crying because I missed my family, but that was not the case. In that moment I felt like I had everything in the world I could ever need because of the love from my husband and his family.

Sappy, but there you go! Our Indian wedding anniversary.

Baked Eggs in Tomato Cups

2007-09-10T16:08:00.001-04:00

My husband loves to have eggs for breakfast in the morning. I am happy to make him whatever he likes for breakfast, but it's been a challenge to make basically the same thing every day in different ways so that he doesn't get bored, and so that I can see him not just eating a good breakfast, but loving it!

For a while now I've been slightly obsessed with baked, or "shirred," eggs. After reading several different recipes, I perfected my technique for making shirred eggs in ramekins and it became part of our morning repertoire. However, I'm working on slimming down so I decided to try a new version of baked eggs that would be a bit lighter. Recently we got some lovely locally-grown tomatoes that are not too large--probably 2 1/2 inches across--and I was inspired to make them into "cups" for our baked eggs.

With a paring knife, I cut a circle down through the top of the tomatoes and then scooped out the tomatoes' innards with a spoon. I placed each tomato into a ramekin. Then I took one of those wedges of Laughing Cow lowfat creamy cheese in French Onion flavor and cut it in half, and put one half in each tomato. I carefully cracked an egg into each tomato, sprinkled with kosher salt and freshly ground pepper, and baked them in the oven for about 15 minutes at 375 degrees, until they were softly set with the yolks still runny. Served with toast, they were such a delicious and special breakfast--and not as fattening as our usual baked eggs!

And best of all, hubby was delighted with his unusual and tasty breakfast. Success!

We Make Better Aloo Gobi than Gurinder Chadha

2007-08-23T16:13:00.000-04:00

The other night we re-watched Bend it Like Beckham. I’m pretty sure it was the first time I had watched it since meeting my husband, and I enjoyed it a lot more now that I can speak a little Hindi and I’ve spent enough time around Indians to appreciate the story more.

It was also the first time that I watched the special feature in which the movie’s director, Gurinder Chadha, makes Aloo Gobi with her Mum and Mausi looking on and offering advice. It was hilarious! I loved the advice from the two old aunties: “Cut it smaller…it doesn’t matter.” “No, you have to peel it. Just do it.” Ji haan!

The way Gurinder Chadha makes aloo gobi is similar to our recipe, but I think ours is better. She cut her onions too big, and her gobi too big. She also used way too little garam masala. However, she did have some tips that we’d never tried, such as including minced cilantro stems, and putting the cilantro garnish on and then letting the aloo gobi sit for several minutes before serving. By the time we finished watching, we HAD to have aloo gobi last night.

Here’s how we make it (new tips from Gurinder Chadha included):

One large onion, diced
Three medium potatoes, peeled and diced into ½ inch cubes
One medium head of cauliflower, cut into florets
1 ½ cups tomato puree or crushed tomatoes
1 tbs cumin seeds
2 serrano peppers, minced
2 tbs ginger-garlic paste
1 tbs minced fresh ginger, or 1 tsp dried ginger powder
1 tsp turmeric
1 tbs salt, or to taste
2 tsp red chile powder, or to taste
2 tsp ground coriander
3-4 tbs garam masala
1 small bunch cilantro, stems minced; leaves chopped and reserved

Saute the onion in about 2 tbs of oil until it starts to become translucent. Toss in the cumin seeds and the minced cilantro stems and stir for a couple minutes. Add the cumin seeds and stir. The onions should be golden brown. Add the tomato and stir. It should bubble and become sort of thick like a gravy. Add a little water if it’s splattering too much. Stir in the ginger-garlic paste. Add the dry spices and ginger (except for the garam masala), and stir. Add the potatoes and stir to coat, then simmer for a few minutes. Add the cauliflower. Pour in at least two cups of water, then cover the pan and simmer, stirring occasionally, until vegetables are done, about 20 minutes or so. Add the garam masala near the end, then taste and adjust seasoning. You may need to add a little more water if it becomes too dry. You want the vegetables to be tender with the flavors penetrating through. Add a small handful of chopped cilantro and cover the pan and let it sit for several minutes before serving so the flavors can penetrate even more. Serve with rotis. And don’t forget, it tastes even better the next day!

At the end of the feature, Gurinder Chadha mentioned one of our favorite ways to eat aloo gobi. You take cold aloo gobi and put it between two slices of bread, then cook the sandwich in one of those sandwich maker toasters that presses the sandwich into two triangles. Eat that with some spicy (I like Maggi brand Chatpat ketchup) or plain ketchup for an amazing lunch! This idea is also great with pau bhaji.

Why I Love Blacksburg

2007-08-14T14:16:00.000-04:00

Today I didn't have much time for exercising before work, so I decided that going walking/jogging for 30 minutes would be better than nothing. It was a crisp morning, even in August, and it was so nice to get out and run through one of my favorite neighborhoods nearby. As I was running, I passed people who greeted me with a cheerful "good morning." I gazed out over Ellett Valley below as I went along, and thought about how lucky I am to have such a view.

As I reached the halfway point of the excursion, I was jogging down a hill and came within 20 feet of a beautiful young buck with small fuzzy antlers; he bounded into the woods at my approach. As I rounded the curve, I had to stop and bend over because I was too out of breath. As I stood back up, a little old lady came out of her house and asked me if I wanted some water. I accepted and she gave me an ice-cold bottle of water and I went on my way with thanks.

For years I've thought only of leaving this town, but now my husband and I are considering staying. Only in a town like this do I encounter such natural beauty and such friendly people. I love Blacksburg!

The photo I've included is actually a young fawn that we found near my dad and stepmom's place, but I thought it was nice with this blog entry...

Fuck Cancer

2007-08-13T13:14:00.000-04:00

I think four-letter words are entirely appropriate here. My dad has cancer. Prostate cancer. Scans are this week, and then we'll find out how serious it is. There is no justice in this world, when the good people get sick, and the complete assholes seem to live long and healthy lives.

Pray for my dad.

High School Reunion, or "What's That Building Behind You Guys?"

2007-08-09T16:03:00.000-04:00

Last weekend was my 10-year high school reunion. I can now say that I have faced the overhyped and cliche-ridden thing that is the high school reunion. All I wanted was to go and see old friends (loved getting back in touch!) and also look hot with my hot hubby. Done! What else happened?

Saw guy classmate who is now bald? Check.

Saw bitchy female classmate who is now fat? Check.

Popular kids still all hanging out together? Check.

Massive number of people from my county married each other and stayed right.there. and did nothing.else. in their lives? Check.

Some people had insane numbers of kids already at only age 28? Check--one girl has FOUR.

Ate awful food and drink? Check--words can't describe how bad the food was, and the one keg of Bud Lite ran out in an hour.

Saw popular guy who now seems insanely stupid? Check--one guy asked my husband and me of our picture in the slideshow, "So, what is that building behind you guys?" Ummm...

Gemma's Gazpacho

2007-07-30T13:23:00.000-04:00

Friday I tried another recipe from my coworker Gemma at our Barcelona office. Her sangria de cava recipe was so good, I knew that her gazpacho would be great! The recipe is actually her mom's recipe, which, as Gemma says, is always the best! Her original instructions called to blend the vegetables, then take the leftover chunks and blend again, but my blender (KitchenAid) was powerful enough to blend the veggies into a smooth liquid on the first try. Hooray for KitchenAid!

The gazpacho has a tangy and refreshing flavor from the vinegar, and the olive oil gives it a smoother and rounder flavor. I used locally-grown tomatoes, which are far superior to the cardboard facsimiles you find at the grocery stores. The recipe makes a lot, and it's great to have it in the fridge for hot evenings when it's too hot to cook!

Gazpacho

1 to 1 1/4 pound of dry bread (I used a large grocery store "french loaf.")
4 lb tomatoes
1 green bell pepper, seeds removed
1 red bell pepper, seeds removed
1 cucumber, peeled and chopped
6 ounces olive oil
6 ounces red wine vinegar

Tear the bread up with your hands and place in a large bowl. Pour in enough water to just cover the bread so that the bread gets so soggy you can't pick it up without it falling apart.

Blend up all the vegetables in a blender until they are a smooth liquid (this took me about 3 or 4 batches). Pour into a large bowl or pot. Blend up the bread and water until it is perfectly smooth and add to the pot. Stir in the oil and vinegar. Season with salt to taste.

Place soup in the fridge until it is very cold; serve with small pieces of onion or pepper on top or with fried or toasted bread.

Cooking and More: Time-Wasting Hobby, or Valuable Contribution?

2007-07-18T14:42:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I find myself talking about food. Not just talking about food, but going off on these flights of fancy, these obsessions with what I’ve made and what I’m going to make. Sometimes my friend Sarah and I get going on these long instant messenger chats about what we’re cooking, what we want to cook, what tools we love, tips, ideas, etc. I never feel happier than when I’m planning for and cooking a meal. In the middle of one of these raptures, sometimes my husband will look at me with a little bemused but happy smile and say, “you really love cooking, don’t you?”

Guilty as charged. I do love cooking. I find myself thinking about cooking, and other domestic pleasures, most of the day (even as I’m supposed to be writing the next proposal that’s due at work). I rarely feel the same pride about anything I do as I feel when I have well-fed people at my table, or an attractive and welcoming home, or flourishing plants in my little verandah container garden. I know that my husband appreciates this in me too—especially when I actually have the free time to be successful at it, which isn’t always. I think my husband has the same desire that many Indian men do, to have a “homely” wife. In Indian English, “homely” doesn’t mean “ugly” or “unattractive” as it does in American English. Rather, it is used to describe someone who enjoys and is good at domestic tasks such as cooking, keeping an inviting and clean home, raising children, etc. And I suppose that when he gets that little smile on his face and asks me if I love cooking, he’s thinking of me as I fit the description of a homely wife.

So why do I sometimes feel guilty about being homely, about taking the most pleasure out of homely things? Why do I allow people to tell me that homely things are somehow Less than what I do at my day job? Why do I sometimes wonder what’s wrong with me, that I’m not some kind of driven career woman? That’s easy: that’s the message that is being pounded into my brain from so many other directions. We live in a time and place where a two-income household is necessary for the majority of families. Because of high taxes, high cost of living, and other factors, even families in which one spouse would like to stay home are forced into the two-income trap. However, most people don’t want to think that they are forced into anything. The language of “choice” comes into play. And so we are told that we should choose to be good worker bees, work the high-pressure 40+ hour workweeks, and let the rest of our lives come second to our careers. It becomes an exalted goal for everyone to push, push, push and rush, rush, rush to have a Career that not only pays well, but is yet another status symbol like a designer handbag or a Mercedes automobile.

And if we don’t “choose” the all-consuming career? One extra-large serving of guilt, coming right up. “You there, yes you, the one who thinks that home and family life is more important: what kind of person are you, some kind of slacker or loser? What, you don’t want to work as hard as the rest of us? Oh, you say the work you are doing at home is just as important? Don’t make me laugh! Everyone knows that if it isn’t pulling in the big bucks, then it doesn’t count!”

The insidious thing about this kind of judgment and guilt trip is that it is deeply sexist. That’s right, I said sexist. Because any time that “homely” considerations are devalued in favor of the all-important Career Track, it is traditionally female occupations—the female itself—that are being devalued in favor of the masculine. Traditionally female work is belittled and treated as simple and useless, nothing more than hobbies, rather than valuable contributions to the family. “Who cares if you don’t have time to do those things because you’re working too much? You can hire other people to do that menial, low-class work,” we’re told. Cooking, for example, has been demoted from life-giving skill to frivolous entertainment more often watched on the Food Network than truly appreciated at home (see the very good book, Fed Up! Women and Food in America, by Catherine Manton, for a history of the industrialization and devaluing of food preparation).

So here I am, going on guilt trips because I’d rather be at home creating a loving and supportive atmosphere for my husband and future family. Feeling sheepish that I spend more time thinking about supposedly frivolous things such as cooking or having a baby than I do about the next quarter’s board reports or the upcoming proposal due. Being made to feel like a slacker because I already know that if I try to juggle a full-time Career and children, neither one will get 100% of my abilities, and I think that my future children deserve better than that (see Opting Out? Why Women Really Quit Careers and Head Home, by Pamela Stone). This is not to say that I don’t want outside work of some kind, but neither do I want to feel pressured into more than I’m willing or able to capably do. I think it's more important that my work be flexible to fit my life, rather than that I should squeeze my life into the spaces around my work.

I believe in “choice feminism.” That means that the choices I make (and also the choices my husband and I make together) about my occupation and our family life are mine, and I don’t believe that anyone else has the right to tell me that my choices are wrong. I’m aware that to some extent, my concerns are class-based. If my husband and I were in a lower stratum of society, I probably wouldn’t even have the luxury of this inner debate. But change has to come from somewhere, and I think that by making my choices, I’m at least changing my little corner of the world. That’s the best that I, or anyone else, can really do.

Friday's Indian Feast

2007-07-16T13:48:00.000-04:00

On Friday hubby and I had my hairdresser Kevin and his partner Jim over for dinner. They said they love Indian food, so we didn't hold back on the spice (as we usually do when we have ferungees over for dinner!). We had a really great time laughing and talking with them and really enjoyed the bottle of ice wine they brought for dessert. They both have a wicked sense of humor so we laughed the whole night! Poor guys, though...they were both wiping their noses the whole time so we were afraid that maybe we did make it too spicy...but they politely insisted it wasn't!

Anyway, the dinner was not for dieters...first we served cocktail samosas (from our local international grocery, Oasis) with homemade cilantro and tamarind chutneys. Dinner was basmati rice, dal makhani, baingan ka bharta (spicy eggplant) and methi gajjar (carrots with fenugreek).

The carrots were our own creation, or rather, our take on Archie Didi's methi gajjar. I fell in love with them when we were in India. The carrots there are so sweet and good, and they aren't orange--they're more of a reddish color. As soon as we got back to the US I had to learn to cook this recipe. If you like glazed carrots, then you'd love these: sweet and spicy at the same time.

Methi gajjar

6 or 7 large carrots, cleaned and peeled
1 tbs oil
1 tbs dried methi (fenugreek leaves)
cayenne powder to taste
salt to taste
2 teaspoons sugar
1/2 tsp haldi (turmeric)
1/2 tsp dhania (ground coriander)

Cut carrots in half lengthwise, then those halves in half. Slice thinly.

Heat the oil in a skillet and add the carrots. Saute for a few minutes. Add enough water to cover, and simmer until water cooks away and carrots start to become tender.

Add the spices, except for the methi. Stir for a minute or so, add the sugar, then add a little water. Add the methi. Cook until carrots are tender and liquid is mostly cooked away. Serve hot with rotis.

Watergate Salad

2007-07-02T11:50:00.000-04:00

As a good Southern girl, I grew up eating "ambrosia." Basically just cool-whip, marshmallows, crushed pineapple, sour cream, etc. all mixed together. It's kitschy, trashy good fun. We have it every Thanksgiving.

I tried a new (to me) version at the ladies' night at my place last weekend: Watergate Salad. It was apparently first served at the Watergate Hotel...I'm guessing sometime back in the 60s or 70s, but I'm not sure about that. Funny to imagine a time when a salad like this was considered fancy enough to be served at a hotel, huh? However, it tastes great, and is even better the next day. My husband loved it--he's a big fan of "pista," or pistachios.

WATERGATE SALAD

1 small container small curd cottage cheese
1 box instant pistachio pudding
1 can crushed pineapple, drained a bit
1/2 bag (or more) miniature marshmallows
1 (8 oz.) container Cool Whip, thawed

Sprinkle the dry pudding mix over the cottage cheese in a large mixing bowl. Stir together, until the cottage cheese looks green. Stir the crushed pineapple into the pudding-cottage cheese mixture. Fold in the marshmallows, and last of all, gently fold in the Cool Whip.
Place in serving bowl and decorate with maraschino cherries, if desired. Refrigerate overnight. Serves 8-10.

Recipe source: Elaine from a cooking list I'm on.

Sangria!

2007-07-02T11:42:00.000-04:00

My husband and I had a wonderful dinner a couple weeks ago at a Spanish tapas restaurant in Charlotte, where we had white sangria with our dinner. I was inspired to have sangria at my next ladies' night.

My grad school girlfriends and I have stayed in touch, and those of us who still live in the same town get together every so often for a ladies' night. On this particular night, we took a dip in my apartment pool, then headed back to my place to make dinner.

S. made Caesar salad, B. made black bean dip with papads, and I made the Stacked Enchiladas with Salsa Verde and Cheese from the July 2007 Bon Appetit magazine. Everything was delish! But the highlight, in my opinion, was the sangria de cava that we made using a recipe courtesy of G., who works at my company's Barcelona office.

S. and I had been researching white sangria for a few days, and I was really happy to get the inside track from G. in Barcelona. Her favorite version is called Sangria de Cava, and it goes like this:

Macerate some cut-up fruit in 1/2 cup brandy and 1/2 cup Cointreau (G. suggests peach and orange; we used peach, plum, and cherry). Add some lemon or orange soda (Schweppes, etc) or club soda mixed with the juice of 1/2 lemon. Slowly pour in one bottle of Cava (or other dry sparkling wine). Taste and add sugar to your liking. Wow! So refreshing and summery! The fruit tastes great after you drink your glass of sangria too...who needs dessert?

Welcome to Metroland

2007-06-28T11:35:00.000-04:00

OK, just as I thought I was the last to get a cell phone, I feel I'm the last to get a blog. But here goes!

First of all, the blog name: Metro-land Manor / Lady Metroland. I picked this name because I'm a huge Evelyn Waugh fan. Margot Metroland is a character in some of his books (Decline and Fall, Vile Bodies) and while she' s not exactly a very nice person, I like the name. Since at this moment I'm not sure exactly what I plan to write about, I think the title will be a good catch-all.

At this time, I think I'll probably end up writing about food more than anything else. Maybe some stuff about being in an intercultural relationship (my husband is Indian), some lifestyle stuff, etc. We'll see! It's a work in progress. More later...

2007-06-28T10:32:00.000-04:00

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