19 February 2009

Answering Questions

I've had the flu for the past several days, so the blog post about stuffed shimla mirch that I have been planning has fallen by the wayside. However, answering questions about my relationship doesn't take as much energy, so that's what I'm doing today. I got the idea from Gorigirl. If you like the idea and do it yourself on your own blog, link back here. Otherwise you could do it in the comments here.

What are your middle names?
V doesn't have a middle name, since oftentimes middle names aren't given to Indian kids. I don't know why, it seems a little sad! Plus, it seems like with a first name and a middle name, each parent would get some input on naming their babies. I know that we plan to give our own kids a Hindi first name and a western middle name.

I don't want to tell my own middle name here. Although it's a perfectly beautiful name in English, and was the name of my mom’s favorite teacher from the sixth grade, it has a particularly unfortunate meaning in Hindi. It’s so bad that my husband and I don’t want to reveal it to anyone else in his family.

How long have you been together?
Since January 2005. Time flies when you’re having fun!

How long did you know each other before you started dating?
A few days. We met one night, talked on the phone a little bit, and then went out on a date.

Who asked whom out?
V asked me out.

How old are each of you?
We’re in our late 20s. Our birthdays are only three days apart, so we always celebrate our birthdays together.

Whose siblings do you see the most?
We see my sister the most, since she lives nearby and V’s sisters unfortunately live on the other side of the world from us. We talk to his sisters on the phone every few days though.

Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
Money issues, but those are improving as my career becomes more established and V finishes grad school.

Did you go to the same school?
We both went to Virginia Tech for grad school: me for my master’s in English, V for his PhD in chemical engineering.

Are you from the same home town?
As Gorigirl said in her post, “Hahahahahahaha! No.” I think V is probably from the most complete and utter opposite place possible (New Delhi) from the tiny little Southwest Virginia redneck/hippie town where I grew up.

Who is smarter?
I don’t know if that’s a fair question. When it comes to language, literature, or history, then I would be. But in math, science, or logic, V is smarter. He’s also much better with money and practical things than I am. Edited to add: Oh, who the hell am I kidding: he's a CHEMICAL ENGINEER. Gaaah!

Who is the most sensitive?
I am. I cry at the drop of a hat and always have.

Where do you eat out most as a couple?
El Rodeo, the local Mexican restaurant. I’ve trained V to say in Spanish “quiero salsa mas picante” because the salsa they usually give tastes like plain tomatoes to our palates (used as we are to incredibly spicy food), and the busboys who bring the chips and salsa usually don’t speak English.

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
India—Delhi, Jaipur, Agra, McLeodganj.

Who has the worst temper?
V has the worst temper, but I like it that with him you know where you stand. No passive-aggressiveness, which I hate.

Who does the cooking?
We both do the cooking, 50/50 Indian and western. I make breakfast every day. Cooking is one of our hobbies together, and we have taught Indian cooking classes at the local gourmet store several times.

Who is the neat-freak?
I’m more of a neat freak, but without much extra time or energy after working all week to actually follow through on my neat-freakiness. I keep the house to an acceptable standard of cleanliness but I dream of the day I can hire someone to come in and help once every week or two.

Who is more stubborn?
V is more stubborn, but we’re both true Tauruses.

Who hogs the bed?
The cats hog the bed. I cuddle up to be close to poor V, who gets gradually pushed closer and closer to the edge of the bed as the night goes on.

Who wakes up earlier?
I wake up earlier, because I like to go jogging or do yoga in the mornings before getting ready for work. Then I make coffee and breakfast for both of us. I have a feeling these halcyon days of leisurely mornings won’t last much longer after V gets his PhD and a regular job.

Where was your first date?

We met with friends to go dancing at a now-closed nightclub. But I think our first “date” date as a couple was to go see the Audubon Quartet perform at Tech, and then for coffee at Starbucks.

Who is more jealous?
Neither of us has any reason to be jealous.

How long did it take to get serious?

We got serious within several weeks. “Dating” just isn’t done so much in Indian culture, and once V knew that he wanted to be serious with me that’s what he did. He’s a very decisive man.

Who eats more?
V eats more. I think it would be pretty weird if I ate more than him! He prefers rotis instead of rice with dinner and can eat three times as many as I can.

Who does the laundry?
I do the laundry. Chores for us tend to fall (except for cooking and shopping, which we do together) along traditional gender lines. That’s all right with me, since with my master’s in English and his PhD in chemical engineering, we’ll never split our salaries evenly either.

Who’s better with the computer?

V is better with the computer. I know enough to do my job at work and to do email or web surfing in my free time.

Who drives when you are together?

V usually drives, although in snow or ice I feel more comfortable driving. I learned to drive in snowy or icy conditions in my teens, so I know how to avoid skids or getting stuck without having to think about it or get nervous.

9 comments:

Gori Girl said...

Sorry to hear you've been under the weather! But at least your MIL is still around and can keep you well supplied with hot tea and liquids and such. (She's still in the States, right?)

Anyways, I relate to a lot of what you've posted! The cooking classes in particular seem pretty cool - what gave you the idea to do them? And I envy you the ability to get up and go jogging in the morning - I've been trying, but the weather is just depressing that I want to crawl back under the covers. :-)

The Gori Wife said...

Now I am SO curious about your middle name. Could you tell the Hindi meaning of it? Or any other hints?

D. Jain said...

Yes, Mummy is still here and she's been very comforting to have around since we've both been sick! Luckily she didn't get sick too.

We love cooking together--it's a relaxing hobby for us, something we've done since we met. People we had over for dinner raved about our cooking, so we offered to teach one class at the local gourmet shop, and it was a huge success with several requests for us to come back, so we did it a few more times. It's really fun!

I can jog on the treadmill at my complex's gym if the weather is bad, Gorigirl! I need to buy a treadmill when we have our own house, I think!

No, no hinting about my name on this blog! It's too embarrassing...

FrancesC said...

Now I'm burning with curiosity about your middle name too!! I like these questions. Here are some of my answers:

What are your middle names?
A doesn't have one. My first and middle names are after my father's 2 grandmothers, so they're pretty old-fashioned. Our children both have middle names (Hindi, like their first names). I initially wanted an English middle name for our first, but didn't feel strongly enough to push hard, so he's got a Hindi name that goes well with his first name. Our second son has the same middle name, and his first name has the same first letter as his brother's, so they have the same initials. Easy to label school uniforms that way!

How long have you been together?
Since late 1989. That sounds like a long time ago, but doesn't feel that way!

How long did you know each other before you started dating?
I don't know exactly, but it wasn't long. We were both part of a big group of friends, but started going on dates fairly early on.

Who asked whom out?
He asked me out.

How old are each of you?
We're in our early 40s (!). A is 13 months older than me.

Whose siblings do you see the most?
His. He's quite close to both his sisters, and I'm not so close to mine.

Did you go to the same school?
Nope!

Are you from the same home town?
Ha! Not quite! Small New England farm town vs. huge Asian city.... Can't get much different!

Who is smarter?
Not a fair question. He's got more business sense, looks at the big picture, and is good at thinking things through. I'm more tuned into everyday mundane life and (I like to think) have more common sense about dealing with household and children's issues.


Who is the most sensitive?
Tough question. He keeps things very close and doesn't reveal much. I'm more likely to cry or get upset.

Who has the worst temper?
Me. He's very calm and rarely gets outwardly angry.

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
Hard to say, depends on what you take as the starting point. We've lived in the US, live in India now, have visited Singapore and Finland together.

Who does the cooking?
On a daily basis, neither of us :-) but I do some.

Who is the neat-freak?
He's neater overall, but we have different neat areas. I see cleanliness levels, but he doesn't so much. I struggle against clutter and often lose the battle.

And this is too long.... enough for now!

D. Jain said...

Those were fun to read, Frances! Thanks for posting! Funny how we small-town girls ended up with such city boys. It's fun to show my husband small-town/rural life, and explore city life with him!

FrancesC said...

Thanks!

A doesn't enjoy the small town life so much, and gets very uncomfortable and bored in my tiny lily-white hometown. He hasn't been there for several years, in fact! It's too hard to get to, and his US holiday time is so very limited, that he understandably prefers to use his days visiting his sisters in their exciting big cities :-)

D. Jain said...

Yup, that's like my husband too. He doesn't like my hometown all that much (although I don't really have much desire to go back there myself now that my parents no longer live there) and prefers visiting exciting big cities like Toronto, San Fran, NY, etc. Plus he's a shopping fiend so he loves going places where there's good shopping.

June said...

I am guess your middle name is Laura. :)

D. Jain said...

You're close, June! I actually have two middle names, which put together say the really bad thing. ;-)